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Posts Tagged ‘news spoof’

Half of PE students would shower if we stopped watching them

cleanliness is next to Godliness, with all that that entailsA recent study in the European Journal of Sports Sciences concludes the majority of students do not wash, yet the same students would happily start if the European Journal of Sports Sciences would stop ‘creeping them out’. The same teenagers admit that the main causes of self-consciousness in the shower were body self-image, duelling banjos or someone called Big Gonzo telling you to ‘pick up the soap’.

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2015
More from Education



New figures show hospital patients waiting too long to be put into cupboards

A new report has also confirmed that many patients are suffering the indignity of having to share large rooms, or ‘wards’, with other sick people while waiting for cupboards to become available.

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Boko Haram criticises ‘excessive’ GCSE coursework

just the first step...Boko Haram, the Islamist movement opposed to Western education, has joined forces with Mumsnet to criticise GCSE coursework requirements. Abubakar Shekau, leader of Boko Haram, took part in an online debate yesterday where he slated Department of Education guidelines and called for a boycott of GCSE coursework in non-core subjects, as well as the establishment of a global caliphate and the wholesale slaughter of infidels.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2015
More from Education



More countries allowing women combat roles ‘could lead to female-only battles’

Women worldwide have demanded the equal right to fight each other to the death in a military conflict, leaving male chauvinist critics to make lame jokes about where they will put their handbags while handling surface to air weapons, and whether they will take slightly longer to get battle-ready than their male counterparts.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2015
More from News In Brief



David Miliband to seek re-election as his comedy alter-ego Ed

'a joke can go on for too long'Popular stand-up David Miliband has confirmed that he will once again be seeking re-election in the guise of his bumbling comic creation ‘Ed Miliband’.

‘I see that Al Murray made the headlines yesterday when he announced that his ‘Pub Landlord’ character will be standing against Nigel Farage, but I’ve been doing it for years’ chuckled Miliband. ‘I came up with the idea for a comedy younger brother years ago. He was a kind of imaginary friend when I was growing up, and when I went into politics it just seemed like a funny thing to try, and for some reason it caught on and I’ve been doing him ever since.’

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2015
More from Politics