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Posts Tagged ‘news spoof’

Elderly woman has a fall

In front of an audience of millions, a frail 56 year old woman collapsed onto a nubile dancer – impaling him on a pair of spiked breasts. While the O2 crowd were shocked to see the young dancer bleed to death, the elderly Madonna Louise Ciccone survived the incident thanks the elasticity of a body made solely from silicone, collagen and an inflated ego.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2015
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Politicians ‘not guilty’ of providing governance for votes‏

In a week when two ex-Foreign Secretaries have been accused of corruption, many around Westminster were gratified to discover that no politician had ever done ‘a day’s work’ in exchange for a parliamentary salary.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2015
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BBC lose Operation Yewtree franchise to Sky

In a day of frantic bidding, Sky has won exclusive rights to Operation Yewtree raids, wresting control from the BBC. The move has won especial approval from the South Yorkshire Police Commissioner, who stated that his officers ‘were looking forward to working closely with Sky.’

In a separate statement officers from Operation Yewtree praised the BBC for its ‘unstinting professionalism’ and insisted that most Yewtree officers would ‘probably continue to purchase a TV Licence.’

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2015
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David Cameron no longer allowed to work from home

Despite claiming 10 Downing Street is more of an office than his family home, HR officers have discovered the PM spends most of his days watching Netflix and playing with his cat instead of running the country.

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2015
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Malcolm Rifkind launches ‘MP Relief’

Malcolm Rifkind has launched the first charity appeal designed to raise money for impoverished MPs. ‘I’m passionate about this cause,’ he says, ‘Many MPs are currently sleeping on benches. Green ones, all day.’

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2015
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