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Posts Tagged ‘news spoof’

Cameron raises terror threat level from ‘Boring’ to ‘Arms industry needs sales’

Some members of the public have found the whole process strangely reminiscent of ‘…pretty much every time a Government wants to justify going to war’. One déjà vu victim said: ‘It’s odd the things we are supposed to be scared of. The UK sells Weapons of Mass Destruction to the Middle East for decades – all is calm. Saddam Hussein pretends to have some – the shit hits the fan.

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Posted: Sep 1st, 2014
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Man still being studiously ignored in room full of elephants

Despite hovering by the peanuts and desperately trying to make eye contact, Dave Harris is still finding it hard to get noticed by the largely elephantine occupants of The Room.

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Posted: Sep 1st, 2014
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Foreign Office; ‘Ecuador can keep Assange as long as they take Galloway as well’

'lickspittle' apparently has a different meaning in SwedishIn a move that has surprised most but pleased many, the British Government has given Ecuador one final option to resolve the current diplomatic crisis. They can keep Julian Assange, but have to take George Galloway as well.

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Posted: Aug 25th, 2014
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Man so unpopular even Groupon refuses to email him

His anxiety was further heightened by his discovery that even Nigerian bank scammers were unwilling to accept £10,000 from him.

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Posted: Aug 5th, 2014
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Claims Direct appointed to solve Gaza crisis

‘This could be the peace breakthrough everyone has been waiting for,’ said one UN observer. With an arm injury netting up to £191,500 for the injured party, the hope is that just the presence of the Claims Direct injury experts in the area will have a highly sobering effect on anyone prepared to lob missiles, grenades or rude and hurtful insults over the fence at their neighbours.

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Posted: Jul 27th, 2014
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