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Posts Tagged ‘news spoof’

M.P.s now only embarrassed by the ‘sound of pooing’

right honourable gentsAfter decades of embezzlement, corruption and ‘world-class douchebaggery’, the House of Commons has managed to eliminate shame in all but extreme circumstances. While Culture Secretary Maria Miller had to be wrestled to the ground by Black Rod and sat upon by the Deputy Speaker in order to elicit the ‘mildest apology’, other MPs have confessed to not being ‘remotely mortified’ when caught ‘farting in a lift’, ‘masturbating in front of their parents’ or ‘voting for’ any Coalition policy.

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Posted: Apr 8th, 2014
More from Politics



100-year-old message in bottle reads ‘You can pick up your trousers on Friday’

After a fisherman had discovered the bottle in his nets, researchers have managed to locate the tailoring business in Dubrovnik which sent the message to one of their regular customers, who, on this occasion, wanted his turn-ups turned down.

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Posted: Apr 8th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Chimp show splits art world

An exhibition of paintings by ‘Daub Ya’, a 68 year old chimpanzee, has divided art critics after it went on show in a prestigious Texas gallery.

Daub Ya (real name George) began painting pictures of fellow animals he met from his time in the World Zoo, from where he was retired in 2008. Two portraits of bear friends, ‘Pooh-Tin’ and ‘Toh-Nee’ have drawn the most attention at the show, with one critic lauding them as ‘penetratingly accurate’, whilst most critics dismissed them as ‘risible’, ‘puerile’ and ‘utter shite’.

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2014
More from Arts/Entertainment



Fears grow for Cara Delevigne after photo blackout reaches second day

The previously ubiquitous model/actress had been front page tabloid news for 287 consecutive days before her mysterious disappearance, beating Princess Diana’s long-standing record.

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Criminals to police themselves

The government is to introduce self-policing for UK law breakers. Unveiling the radical new scheme, government spokesman, Maria Miller, explained; ‘The old saying is ‘it takes a thief to catch a thief’ and this measure is simply an extension of how Parliament itself works. That system has met with such universal approval from the British public, that it seemed logical to trust people who continually try and avoid the police to henceforth police themselves.

The scheme, which has been launched to coincide with the beginning of the new avoiding-tax year, will involve muggers, burglars, car thieves and investment bankers being charged with making sure that no laws are breaking in the course of their law-breaking.

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2014
More from UK News