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Posts Tagged ‘news spoof’

Blair Christmas card used at Guantanamo to frighten terrorists

Tony Blair has revealed that his 2014 Christmas Card photo was originally intended as part of a Psy Ops campaign to frighten jihadists at Guantanamo Bay.

‘Look, if we want win the war on terror, we have to be prepared to use extreme tactics’, he told reporters. ‘Psychologists have been using pictures of Cherie in experiments for years, so they’d already obtained approval from their ethics committees.

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Posted: Dec 3rd, 2014
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Stephen Hawking warns that Artificial Intelligence could end Angry Birds

Prof Stephen Hawking, one of Britain’s pre-eminent scientists, has said that efforts to create thinking machines pose a threat to the very existence of mindless computer games such as Angry Birds. He explained, ‘The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of stupid people being able to waste their time on stupid wastes of time.’

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Posted: Dec 3rd, 2014
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Turner Prize to be ‘artist-free’

a worthy winner next year: the most important work since 'Dunk' from 1983From next year, works which come with an artist’s name attached will be disqualified from the prestigious contemporary art prize’s selection process. Instead, judges will concentrate on works that have not been made by artists.

‘The very idea of artists has now been totally discredited by new and exciting works like ‘James Milner’s Shin Pads’,’ explained chief Judge Mike Smythe. ‘These exist free of the bourgeois taint of personality cult. No formal ‘artist’ has been involved, strictly speaking.’

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Posted: Dec 2nd, 2014
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Suspicious bear found in Paddington Station destroyed by controlled explosion

Among the debris found was the remains of a marmalade sandwich, believed to be a possible ingredient in the terrorist’s chemical concoction.’

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Posted: Dec 2nd, 2014
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Stonehenge tunnel to be put on hold as tunnellers find ‘prehistoric tunnel’

Pre-historic men may have already built a tunnel under Stonehenge to ease traffic conditions for visitors to the area over 7000 years ago. Archaeologists say excavators of the new tunnel have had to put digging on hold while the old tunnel is investigated.

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Posted: Dec 2nd, 2014
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