NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘news spoof’

Northamptonshire named Britain’s first Area of Outstanding General Mediocrity

just passing throughIt was the award a few wanted but only one could have. In the end, it was disappointment for Buckinghamshire, the borough of Chorley and everywhere within a five-mile radius of Motherwell as Northamptonshire won the nomination as the UK’s first Area of Outstanding General Mediocrity (AOGM).

‘Neither quite vile enough for it to be funny, nor possessed of anything that might induce visitors to stay longer than it takes to use a toilet, this most nondescript of counties was a natural choice,’ said Lord Melvyn Bragg, chairman of the judging panel. ‘Its highest point is a mundane 738 feet. Its county flower is the cowslip. Even when Corby ceased to be the largest town in Britain without a railway station in 2009, Irthlingborough succeeded to the title. I could go on, but, you know, life’s too short, isn’t it?’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 29th, 2014
More from UK News



Celebrities to balls-up your commute on Poppy Day

Service announcements at Wood Lane will be replaced by Joey Barton reciting the prologue from Friedrich Nietzsche’s ‘Das Verhältnis der Schopenhauer Ischen Philosophie zu einer deutschen Kultur’, before bursting out of the control office and head-butting commuters on to the track.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 29th, 2014
More from News In Brief



UK troops leave Afghanistan never to return, probably

The union flag was lowered at Camp Bastion and ceremoniously packed away, until it is required to be raised again at Camp Bastion by the next US President.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 28th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Salad dressing marketeer set to withdraw from Hellmans

A specialist food marketeer has pulled out of Hellmans, ten years to the day after arriving to provide practical and strategic support for the company and its staff.

Read more >

Posted: Oct 28th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Spain snaps-up disused ‘Go Home Vans’ to rid Costa Del Sol of ‘annoying English’

Nobody expected the Spanish exposition ‘They’re just really rubbish tourists; they can’t even tan properly.’

Read more >

Posted: Oct 21st, 2014
More from From The Archives