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Posts Tagged ‘news’

Labour promises more sunshine for Scotland

Mr Miliband has promised that should they vote for him to become Prime Minister, more of the balmy spring weather that the capital is enjoying will be diverted North of the border.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2015
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Hillary Clinton to enter the UK election

Dear Bill...British voters, despairing of the ineptitude of their own politicians, have been buoyed by the news that Hillary Clinton is on the verge of declaring her candidacy for Prime Minister. Up until now many had assumed Mrs Clinton would stick to the Presidential race, but she has been tempted by the rigorous challenge of battling wits with the UK’s best or ‘shooting fish in a barrel’ as it is called.

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Posted: Apr 12th, 2015
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Malcolm Rifkind launches ‘MP Relief’

Malcolm Rifkind has launched the first charity appeal designed to raise money for impoverished MPs. ‘I’m passionate about this cause,’ he says, ‘Many MPs are currently sleeping on benches. Green ones, all day.’

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2015
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Cameron: ‘We will still provide paracetamol for cancer patients’

‘Cancer treatment is my number one priority, after Ebola treatment, unless that nurse is getting better, in which case cancer treatment, or at least the cancers that are treatable, you know, the ones that probably go away after a while anyway, are my highest priority…’

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2015
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Islamic State tweets ‘haters gonna hate’

Hacking into the US military’s Centcom account, hackers working for IS have sent a clear message to the world that ‘Harry Styles is lush’. Using social media, the terrorist organisation has spelt out their commitment to a Middle Eastern caliphate, a continued reign of violence and ‘the spamming of lol catz’.

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Posted: Jan 14th, 2015
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