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Posts Tagged ‘news’

Druids working round the clock to restore ley lines

Druids pledging to get it right any day nowThe council of British Druids have been working through the night to restore ley lines which have been damaged by recent storms. Many households have been without spiritual energy throughout the Yuletide holiday which has affected psychic connections in many parts of the country.

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2013
More from UK News



Power companies reduce Christmas bills by cutting off power

‘Normally, we spend a fortune on heating, lighting and TV but all that’s been saved by this brilliant initiative.’

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2013
More from News In Brief



‘And that’s why I don’t bother voting anymore’ explains John from Accounts

Office workers in Reading learned of co-worker John Hunter’s reasons for not exercising his democratic right to vote anymore yesterday, during an extensive lecture during their lunch break.

The twenty-seven minute diatribe about ‘The good old days’ with frequent references to how ‘People had respect for each other’ included repeated claims that ‘You didn’t lock your front doors, because you didn’t need to’. At one point John seemingly lost his focus and digressed into details about how ‘I remember when this was all fields’ before returning to the subject in hand and explaining ‘There was none of this Health and Safety nonsense either’.

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Posted: Dec 15th, 2013
More from Lifestyle



Dreamcatchers recalled due to wiring error

‘If your Dreamcatcher is wired up as shown, you might notice fewer dreams. Dreams that you have always had, will commonly be destroyed in a soul crushing and usually ironic fashion, as if a deity were teaching you a lesson. Please return immediately.’

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Posted: Dec 7th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Ghost of Christmas Future ‘in despair’ after visit to George Osborne

if only he could realise it's not about the money, or even understand what money is. Merry Christmas, one and all.‘He didn’t even bat an eyelid when I showed him what would happen to poor little Tiny Clegg,’

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Posted: Dec 5th, 2013
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