The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘news’

‘And that’s why I don’t bother voting anymore’ explains John from Accounts

Office workers in Reading learned of co-worker John Hunter’s reasons for not exercising his democratic right to vote anymore yesterday, during an extensive lecture during their lunch break.

The twenty-seven minute diatribe about ‘The good old days’ with frequent references to how ‘People had respect for each other’ included repeated claims that ‘You didn’t lock your front doors, because you didn’t need to’. At one point John seemingly lost his focus and digressed into details about how ‘I remember when this was all fields’ before returning to the subject in hand and explaining ‘There was none of this Health and Safety nonsense either’.

Read more >

Posted: Dec 15th, 2013
More from Lifestyle

Dreamcatchers recalled due to wiring error

‘If your Dreamcatcher is wired up as shown, you might notice fewer dreams. Dreams that you have always had, will commonly be destroyed in a soul crushing and usually ironic fashion, as if a deity were teaching you a lesson. Please return immediately.’

Read more >

Posted: Dec 7th, 2013
More from News In Brief

Ghost of Christmas Future ‘in despair’ after visit to George Osborne

if only he could realise it's not about the money, or even understand what money is. Merry Christmas, one and all.‘He didn’t even bat an eyelid when I showed him what would happen to poor little Tiny Clegg,’

Read more >

Posted: Dec 5th, 2013
More from From The Archives

National thing which happened also happened locally, albeit in a small way

In local news, a thing that happened across the country has also happened in the region where you live, although it was nowhere near as extensive or interesting but we’re going to tell you anyway so that you can feel you have some connection with the national thing that happened nationally.

Read more >

Posted: Nov 15th, 2013
More from News In Brief

Louise Mensch explodes

‘We believe that Miss Mensch was involved in an animated conversation about the English Guardian Newspaper, which turned into a tirade against Edward Snowden, which became a full-on rant about some guy called Alistair Campbell’

Read more >

Posted: Nov 5th, 2013
More from News In Brief