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Posts Tagged ‘NHS’

Accident & Emergency services to be outsourced to vets’ surgeries

highly competitive service delivery at the point of need‘It makes complete sense that when a vet is not treating Fido or Tiddles for ticks, they open their doors to patients who may have had a stroke, major trauma injury or a saucepan stuck on their head,’ said Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt.

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Posted: May 22nd, 2013
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NHS starts search for new incompetent and uncaring chief executive

The government has started a world-wide search for someone entirely devoid of compassion and clueless enough to replace Sir David Nicholson as chief executive of the NHS.

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Posted: May 22nd, 2013
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NHS to reclaim surgical instruments left inside patients’ bodies

The NHS is seeking to reclaim £10m worth of cutting-edge surgical equipment, inadvertently left behind by surgeons as they sewed-up patients in the operating theatre.

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Posted: May 10th, 2013
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IDS tells public sector workers: ‘Hand back your wages’

Iain Duncan Smith has today stated that it is an ‘anomaly’ that all civil servants receive a salary when some could afford to do without.

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Posted: Apr 29th, 2013
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Smokers hoping for ‘X-Men style superpowers’ following genetic mutation TV adverts

faster than a speeding glob ejected from an emphysemic lungThe latest anti-smoking campaign has seen the message that smoking causes genetic mutations being misinterpreted by science fiction fans who have long fantasised about suddenly developing superpowers.

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Posted: Apr 27th, 2013
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