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Posts Tagged ‘NHS’

Organ donors to be permitted to make exceptions for ‘tossers’

A leaked report from the highest echelons of the NHS suggests that organ donors may soon be allowed to make exceptions for people they don’t like.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2010
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Earth faces extinction as pleas for help dismissed by Dr Who’s zealous new receptionist

new secretary really hates time-wastersDr Who’s officious new receptionist could be putting billions of patients’ lives in danger, according to a report leaked by the British Medical Association (BMA).The report says that since the Timelord installed a new receptionist in his surgery, patients such as the eight billion of inhabitatants of Planet Earth have found urgent pleas for life-saving action going unheard.

‘This new receptionist seems to think she is in charge,’ complained one patient, a Prime Minister of the UK. ‘Once it was easy to get an appointment with the doctor. Now it’s bleeding impossible. And, I swear, if I don’t do something about my Dalek problem, it could be fatal.’

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Posted: Jan 1st, 2010
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Pensioners offered chance to hibernate

‘Winter is a very difficult time for old people,’

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Posted: Dec 2nd, 2009
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Granny taking ages to die in expensive hospice

Surprise at Maud’s ability to ‘hang-on-in-there,’ in the £850-day facility.

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Posted: Nov 4th, 2009
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US Congress Agrees To Adopt Carry On Style Healthcare System

President Barack Obama is today celebrating the news that Congress has agreed to support his proposals to establish an NHS style healthcare programme in the US, on the proviso it closely resembles the Carry On films.

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Posted: Sep 16th, 2009
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