Health service chiefs are celebrating A&E waiting times hitting target for the first time since the Crimea war, due to an impressive pincer strategy of requiring all attendees to ring NHS 111 before admission, while simultaneously deploying rogue software to block the digit 1 on all telephone keypads. [read...]
Despite their criminal oversight of explosive material in the Port of Beirut, Lebanese officials have been designated as too reliable to supply the NHS. Instead, PPE contracts will continue to be given to firms that can guarantee failure, [read...]
Fans of bumbling not-based-on-reality TV hit ‘Downing Street Daily Briefing’ are mourning the end of the current series, as season one ended with a typically bombastic yet comfortingly incomprehensible finale. Commendably shunning cheap crowd-pleasers like go-go dancers, [read...]
Archaeologists have confirmed that the recently discovered ring of prehistoric shafts, were in fact a rudimentary attempt by the Health Secretary to monitor the spread of Coronavirus, while ensuring favourable crop yield. The two-mile circle is said to be an early attempt at social distancing and that standing behind the central stones was far more… [read...]
As details of bilateral trade negotiations between the UK and the US emerge, the British Government is basking in the glory of a ‘fair and balanced deal with America’. [read...]
