The National Health Service today unveiled the long-expected new type 3 diabetes to a packed press conference in Hammersmith, claiming it is the ‘best ever’ version of the disease. Simply referred to as ‘The New Diabetes’, [read...]
For as little as 20p patients will soon be able to shove their head, limb, or genitals into a hole and have a vending machine assess a range of medical conditions. In a bold move to address the crisis in GP services, [read...]
In an impassioned speech from the pokey confines of a nursing home, the ailing NHS hit out about her shocking treatment and labelled her 70th birthday celebrations as ‘a kick in the teeth’. ‘For 70 years I’ve been delivering a free point of care health service to millions of people and what do I get… [read...]
Plans to allow patients to conduct their own operations in flat pack hospitals could be the answer to the current problems within the NHS, according to a leaked document. The paper praises the suggestion by junior health minister Stephen Barclay that doctors could qualify in four years as opposed to the current five after Brexit,… [read...]
Violence erupted in the sleepy backwater of Trumpton last night following the announcement that the fire station would be closed and services provided by Fireman Sam Plc from CBBC. [read...]
