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Posts Tagged ‘NHS’

UK teen pregnancies could be reduced with the ‘E-shag’

Government plans to allow ‘e-shagging’ by under-16s are expected to be announced by Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt soon.

‘The e-shag, which works rather like an e-fag, will drastically cut teen pregnancies in our country,’ said a government spokeswoman.

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Posted: Jan 27th, 2014
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Litigation reality show ‘Sue the Midwife’ returns to TV

midwife crisis‘This show has it all: human interest, tragedy, and the prospect of big money pay-outs’

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2014
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‘Catch It, Bin It, Kill It’ campaign fails to kill off George Osborne

The infamous George Osborne (Georgeus Gideoliver Osbornosus) bacterium has failed to be controlled yet again

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2014
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Millions die of boredom as ‘binge abstinence’ takes NHS to breaking point

Doctors’ leaders have called on the government to take urgent action against a new social phenomenon which has caused the sudden deaths of men the length and breadth of the UK.

Affecting mainly self-loathing, middle-class fortysomethings whose boozy excesses during the festive season have led them to taking a ‘dry’ January, so-called ‘binge abstinence’ has side-effects which often prove fatal.

Dr. Kate Thompson from Guys Hospital Accident and Emergency Unit says, ‘Since about the 3rd of January, we’ve been under huge pressure every night. We’re dealing with wave after wave of men who are simply unaccustomed to dealing with the grinding monotony of their two free hours an evening sober.’

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Posted: Jan 11th, 2014
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BBC reveals ‘some patients visit A&E units only once’

Data obtained under the Freedom of Information Act revealed that thousands of people made just one visit to the same unit in 2012-13. An NHS spokesman said the BBC’s findings on single attendees raised some worrying questions as hospitals struggled to cope.

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Posted: Jan 8th, 2014
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