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Posts Tagged ‘NHS’

Millions die of boredom as ‘binge abstinence’ takes NHS to breaking point

Doctors’ leaders have called on the government to take urgent action against a new social phenomenon which has caused the sudden deaths of men the length and breadth of the UK.

Affecting mainly self-loathing, middle-class fortysomethings whose boozy excesses during the festive season have led them to taking a ‘dry’ January, so-called ‘binge abstinence’ has side-effects which often prove fatal.

Dr. Kate Thompson from Guys Hospital Accident and Emergency Unit says, ‘Since about the 3rd of January, we’ve been under huge pressure every night. We’re dealing with wave after wave of men who are simply unaccustomed to dealing with the grinding monotony of their two free hours an evening sober.’

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Posted: Jan 11th, 2014
More from Health



BBC reveals ‘some patients visit A&E units only once’

Data obtained under the Freedom of Information Act revealed that thousands of people made just one visit to the same unit in 2012-13. An NHS spokesman said the BBC’s findings on single attendees raised some worrying questions as hospitals struggled to cope.

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Posted: Jan 8th, 2014
More from News In Brief



‘Homeless and destitute are nearly all British’ says relieved government

Immigration Minister Mark Harper has calmed Tory nerves with the news that nearly all the destitute and homeless beggars found huddled in doorways on New Year’s Day were British and not from Eastern Europe.

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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2014
More from News In Brief



Bulgarian and Romanian immigrants read Daily Mail and head back home

‘According to the front page of the Daily Mail, I was only coming to the UK to take advantage of the NHS and sponge off the benefits system. A quick flick to page 2 and it seems I am actually going to steal everyone’s job.’

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Posted: Dec 31st, 2013
More from News In Brief



Pensioners offered chance to hibernate

Sales of HobNobs expected to plummet.

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Posted: Dec 18th, 2013
More from From The Archives