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Posts Tagged ‘NHS’

Riots break out in Trumpton over fire station closure

Mrs Honeyman went on and on and on and on about the injustice of it all.Violence erupted in the sleepy backwater of Trumpton last night following the announcement that the fire station would be closed and services provided by Fireman Sam Plc from CBBC.

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Posted: Mar 21st, 2014
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Jeremy Hunt trials new hi-tech ‘contactless’ NHS

Fed up with having to deal with inefficient and often sick NHS workers, the UK Health Secretary has introduced a trial of ‘contactless healthcare’, which does away entirely with the need for any physical presence. Just like an oyster card, your new NHS care card can be topped up with platitudes and sound bites ready to be deployed at any time you feel a touch of one-day flu coming on.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2014
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Sir Stuart Rose launches ‘Simply NHS’ food range

'Every little helps... Er, no, that's not right.'Under the watchful eye of former Marks & Spencer boss, Sir Stuart Rose, the National Health Service is to offer a range of ‘everyday food products’ and ‘must-have kitchen ingredients’ salvaged from clinical waste bins.

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Posted: Feb 14th, 2014
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UK teen pregnancies could be reduced with the ‘E-shag’

Government plans to allow ‘e-shagging’ by under-16s are expected to be announced by Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt soon.

‘The e-shag, which works rather like an e-fag, will drastically cut teen pregnancies in our country,’ said a government spokeswoman.

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Posted: Jan 27th, 2014
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Litigation reality show ‘Sue the Midwife’ returns to TV

midwife crisis‘This show has it all: human interest, tragedy, and the prospect of big money pay-outs’

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2014
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