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Posts Tagged ‘NHS’

UK deafness epidemic ‘may last up to 122 days’

An outbreak of deafness affecting four million people in the UK could last as long as 122 days, says NHS England. ‘We don’t expect any improvement until May 8th,’ a NHS spokeswoman said.

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Posted: Jan 6th, 2015
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Doctors to fight Ebola virus with NHS food

As yet there is no known cure for Ebola but the doctor in charge of the case has said he is yet to find anything that is able to survive a dose of NHS macaroni cheese and a follow up course of lukewarm apple pie and custard-like liquid.

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Posted: Jan 1st, 2015
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George Osborne to bring back Rickets‏

Benefit deductible, so everyone wins!As he rolls back public finance to the 1930s, the Chancellor has announced a return to a golden age of austerity this week.

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Posted: Dec 26th, 2014
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NHS to become online-only

Health Minister Jeremy Hunt has calculated that the NHS could save billions if it operated as a computer model, like the Matrix, instead of as a real-world service trying to treat sick people in 3D.

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Posted: Oct 18th, 2014
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Travelodge to bid for NHS accommodation contract

Following the suggestion that NHS patients should be charged £75 per night for bed and breakfast the beleaguered hotel chain Travelodge has offered to take the contract on at far lower cost.

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Posted: Oct 7th, 2014
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