A 22-stone man has been told he can have a ‘life-saving’ gastric bypass built around his local McDonalds, despite losing a legal case after being rejected for it previously.
Posted: Aug 17th, 2011
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A major UK Armed Forces Careers Day was declared a success by military chiefs after it passed without one reference to the reasonably high probability of becoming a fatality statistic upon signing up. The joint careers effort from Britain’s army, navy and air force focused on learning a trade and ‘softer’ subjects including adventure training and the comparative ‘scoring potential’ of the different uniforms.
Posted: Jul 31st, 2011
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David Cameron has confirmed that the government’s NHS bill will have its life ended by politician-assisted suicide. ‘We tried everything to save it,’ said Mr Cameron, ‘but the condition is terminal. We have therefore decided that the time has come to put it out of its misery.’
Posted: Jun 16th, 2011
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Health Minister Andrew Lansley has confirmed that the latest NHS reforms will require patients seeking treatment to be seen by a panel of three healthcare professionals, ‘sitting behind a desk with their hands on a buzzer with a light-up x attached’.
Posted: Jun 14th, 2011
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‘Only 2375 fatalities so far in 2011. A fantastic effort team! #BetterThanItSoundsHonest’ – 11 hours ago
Posted: May 29th, 2011
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