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Lib Dems announce amnesia ‘no longer a membership requirement’
Following several embarrassing incidents of forgetfulness, the Liberal Democrats have agreed to stop making amnesia a requirement of party membership. [read...]
Tagged Nick Clegg
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Nick Clegg to address imaginary delegates at this year’s Lib Dem conference
‘Clint Eastwood had an argument with an empty chair regarding its political standpoint. Nick will go one further and address an imaginary political party at an imaginary political conference.’ [read...]
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Zuckerberg launches “Faceblood” ‘purely to help haemophiliacs’
Mark Zuckerberg has insisted that Facebook’s new blood transfusion service is a charitable venture aimed at the world’s haemophiliacs, and not at all an attempt to monopolise supply of what is literally the lifeblood of the world. [read...]
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EU diplomatic ‘shit list’ drawn up by the Tourism Board, say Kremlin
A Russian foreign ministry official has today contradicted reports that a list of ‘banned’ politicians was a result of EU sanctions against Russia. ‘Not at all. It is a simple attempt to support our gentrification process by excluding undesirables who are likely to detract from Russia’s reputation as a lovely place to visit and live.’ [read...]
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Maybot ‘not covered by right of repair’
Consumer groups are frustrated that the Maybot, a malfunctioning Prime Minister, cannot be cheaply repaired and will ultimately end up as landfill – or in the House of Lords’ as it is known. 2016’s ‘must have’ gadget, [read...]