‘I’m a very private person and I’ve always tried to keep that side of my life quiet as I don’t see it as being anyone else’s business what I do for a living’.
Posted: Apr 11th, 2014
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As the final succulent drops of Maria Miller’s blood dripped from the salivating mouths of tabloid editors, staff from The Sun, Express and Daily Mail turned their lustful gaze towards their next victim.
Posted: Apr 9th, 2014
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After decades of embezzlement, corruption and ‘world-class douchebaggery’, the House of Commons has managed to eliminate shame in all but extreme circumstances. While Culture Secretary Maria Miller had to be wrestled to the ground by Black Rod and sat upon by the Deputy Speaker in order to elicit the ‘mildest apology’, other MPs have confessed to not being ‘remotely mortified’ when caught ‘farting in a lift’, ‘masturbating in front of their parents’ or ‘voting for’ any Coalition policy.
Posted: Apr 8th, 2014
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Crestfallen Nick Clegg has been advised by his publicists to adopt a more ‘ruthless approach’ in all future live debates, by resorting to ‘mum jokes’ when backed into a corner by his opponent.
Clegg’s recent debate with UKIP’s Nigel Farage on Britain and the EU, televised live on BBC Two, resulted in UKIP storming home with a massive 68% of votes in a snap YouGov survey, leaving the Lib Dems with no other choice than to court the ‘mum joke’ vote.
Posted: Apr 3rd, 2014
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The British Government has completely disappeared, according to reports from Westminster. Downing Street is said to be deserted and Whitehall offices abandoned.
Posted: Feb 22nd, 2014
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