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Posts Tagged ‘Nick Clegg’

Electorate can use ‘reasonable force’ to defend against political candidates

‘Voters are now legally entitled to punch, kick and scratch anyone turning up at their door and asking for their vote,’ said the Lord Chief Justice, ‘It is clear provocation.’

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2015
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Cameron promises not to serve a third term. Voters helpfully rule out a second

his goose is cookedIn an attempt to manage public expectation, the Prime Minister has said he will not be swayed into staying in office, regardless of any mass displays of affection.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2015
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Election leadership debates to follow rules of Just a Minute

The format for the long-awaited election debate between the leaders of the main political parties has finally been agreed, with the rules based on the popular Radio 4 panel game Just A Minute.

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Posted: Mar 20th, 2015
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Scientists research into Lib Dem ‘wobble’ shows applied left and right forces

it's just life in a gaited communityLurching from left to right, the Lib Dem ‘wobble’ has baffled scientists for years. Finally, research conducted by Penguin watchers at London Zoo may have unlocked the key to this seemingly inefficient party’s means of mobilisation.

Electronic plates were installed in the corridors of Westminster and BBC studios to measure the level of lurch to the left or right. As Lib Dems trod these paths, scientists were able to gauge how a Lib Dem politician propels himself in political life.

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2015
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David Cameron appoints new head of strategy, Englebert Humperdinck

first job is a Strategy for Europe‘My first task is help sex up Mr Cameron’s image,’ explained the septuagenarian pop sensation. ‘To appeal to that all-important female demographic, David is growing a nice pair of mutton chop side burns.’

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Posted: Mar 14th, 2015
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