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Posts Tagged ‘Nick Clegg’

Government raises UK bullshit threat level to ‘severe’

The UK’s bullshit threat level has been raised from ‘substantial’ to ‘severe’ meaning that the possibility of impending bullshit is highly likely.

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Posted: Sep 3rd, 2014
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Nick Clegg to use everyone’s paternity leave next year

another great idea!Anticipating he will have a lot of ‘free time on his hands’ after the next election, the Deputy Prime Minister has volunteered to provide round-the-clock support to all new parents. The Liberal Democrat’s’ manifesto will pledge that Mr. Clegg will stay with couples for up to six weeks after the birth of their child; providing nappy changing, reassuring hugs and amusing anecdotes about proportionate representation if ‘…baby refuses to go to sleep’.

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2014
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Scottish voters urged to consider Salmond’s ‘big pleading eyes’

In a last-ditch attempt to swing the vote in the Scottish independence referendum , the ‘Yes’ camp has launched a series of posters and television advertisements sponsored by the RSPCA.

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Posted: Aug 10th, 2014
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No one in Cabinet ‘experienced in anything’

Eyebrows were raised when it became clear that the new Secretary of State for Education Nicky Morgan, her Ministers and all the parliamentary under-secretaries were privately educated and thus have no knowledge of the state sector beyond seeing the occasional episode of Waterloo Road.

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Posted: Jul 21st, 2014
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Cameron and Hague relearning foreign policy by playing Risk

The Prime Minister and Foreign Secretary, having been caught flat-footed by recent geopolitical changes almost everywhere, have embarked on a marathon game of Risk to try and understand it all.

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Posted: Jul 4th, 2014
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