‘I did my best, I really did’, said the elderly Mr Griffin. ‘I taught him about tolerance, justice, and how to be sympathetic and loving to other people. I taught him about the contribution that immigrants have made to British life over the centuries. I even tried to bring him up as a Muslim, but as soon as he left home he forgot all about it – I am so sorry’.
Posted: May 2nd, 2010
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The Toy Retailers Association has unveiled its list of the top five toys that are dominated Christmas lists this year. Toymakers largely played safe with a mixture of national treasures and action toys but gave them a technological or modern twist. Perhaps in reaction to the banking crisis, nostalgia was the biggest factor this year, with the number one toy being a ‘talking’ version of playwright Alan Bennett. The 75-year old is said to be surprised and slightly embarrassed at finding himself occupying the top spot.
Posted: Jan 22nd, 2010
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The writing has been on the wall for a while now but the BBC has finally decided to put a complete ban on unhealthy racist comments in the workplace. However, it admits that stamping the filthy habit out completely will not happen overnight and has been forced to provide designated areas outside its buildings where celebrities can, if they must, pop out for a quick insult.
Posted: Nov 1st, 2009
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The Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) today ordered Mensa to review its membership criteria following a series of damning complaints that it is discriminating against far-right idiots not bright enough to join. Under current rules Mensa only admits those with an IQ in the top 2 per cent of the population, but the EHRC has declared the policy to be ‘institutionally elitist’ and infringing the human rights of ill-informed bigots everywhere.
Posted: Oct 19th, 2009
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