In an attempt to broaden the appeal of their manifesto, UKIP are set to legalise petting in public swimming baths. Other policy initiatives include an amnesty on library book fines and a very slight reduction in the cost of the TV licence.
Posted: Feb 7th, 2015
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In a bid to replicate Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan’s huge popular appeal throughout his country’s electorate, Britain’s party leaders have all jumped on the ‘does exactly what it says on the tin’ bandwagon ahead of the forthcoming general election.
Posted: Feb 2nd, 2015
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The BBC has confirmed that they intend to send a bill to David Cameron’s parents if their son fails to turn up for the TV debate for party leaders. The Prime Minister had said he may not turn up unless his friend Natalie from the Green Party was invited too
Posted: Jan 20th, 2015
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Despite increasing strife between their respective followers and the impending Judgement Day in which the sheep may or may not be separate from the goats and the unbelievers may or may not be cast into the eternal pit of fire, it has emerged that God, Allah and Jehovah are still unable to agree on the format of their long-awaited live TV debate.
The main bone of contention is said to be whether or not other gods should be included, while there have also been calls for a separate debate to the north, where Odin is seen as a serious contender. Jehovah, a jealous god, has refused point blank to appear on the same platform as Ba’al or Marduk, while Allah insists that no other gods can take part in the debate because they don’t exist anyway.
Posted: Jan 15th, 2015
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Launched as an experiment to see if mild racism might reverse the effects of the recession, the stores stocked a large number of budget patriotic trinkets and cleaning products, such as Union Jack dishcloths, porcelain bulldogs and 100% pure white spirit.
Posted: Jan 13th, 2015
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