NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Nigel Farage’

Nigel Farage’s selection in jeopardy due to an allergy to real ale‏

UKIP members in South Thanet have been thrown into disarray by the unexpected hypersensitivity to unpasteurised beer of their frontrunner for the 2015 general election. Having quaffed over 20,000 pints on the election trail to appear as an ‘everyman’ to voters, Mr. Farage has now become riddled with hives every time he swallows a mouthful of Bishop’s Cock.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 27th, 2014
More from News In Brief



UKIP propose residency test questions to be taken from University Challenge

UKIP have unveiled a manifesto pledge to make the British Citizenship UK residency test more stringent by lifting the questions directly from University Challenge. The proposals will also see applicants being asked to play ‘The Lark Ascending’ by Vaughan Williams on the violin instead of singing the national anthem.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 20th, 2014
More from News In Brief



‘I was born in the wrong body,’ says Farage

UKIP leader Nigel Farage has revealed he is undertaking a course of political reassignment and is now living as ‘Nigel Chomsky’. ‘I was born in the body of a privileged right-winger but from as early as I can remember I wanted to be a socialist,’ Chomsky said.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 11th, 2014
More from News In Brief



UKIP defends MEP’s ‘speak like Blair’ advice

Labour has claimed that this shows Nigel Farage’s complete failure to clean up his party but Farage said: ‘Bill gave a seminar on public speaking and highlighted great speakers of the past, like Blair and Adolf Hitler as people whose style should be studied. We’re not condoning Blair’s actions, of course.’

Read more >

Posted: Aug 11th, 2014
More from News In Brief, Politics



‘I hate all foreigners and will go for a pint with everyone’, shouts Clegg

In a remarkable shift in opinion, Deputy PM Nick Clegg has renounced his stance against the UK leaving Europe, declaring openly that he ‘dislikes all foreigners’, and will happily go for a pint with everyone, ‘providing the ale is British’.

Read more >

Posted: May 27th, 2014
More from News In Brief