It’s been revealed that the decision to close down BBC Three was not made by Director-General Tony Hall, but by BBC One autocues which have developed consciousness. It’s thought that the execution of BBC Three is the first stage in an attempt by the autocues to take over the entire communications infrastructure of the nation.
Posted: Mar 9th, 2014
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Immigrant leaders have defended jokes made by foreign comedians at a night club. Many of the jokes appeared to single out Nigel Farage, the leader of the UK Independence Party (UKIP).
Posted: Mar 3rd, 2014
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No-one from UKIP was available for comment but rumours were circulating Westminster that Nigel Farage had left his lap-top on while his student grandchildren were staying over Christmas.
Posted: Dec 30th, 2013
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Speculation is rife that the BBC may create a new rolling conjecture channel that gathers together experts in every subject, places them all in one room and forces them to argue endlessly about what will happen next.
The new channel is likely to be based in London, or perhaps Salford, or Swansea, or maybe somewhere else entirely, with an estimated cost of tens of millions, or more, or possibly less. Experts remain divided on the value of a channel dedicated entirely to idle speculation. ‘There is already far too much empty and useless conjecture based on nothing more than personal opinion,’ said one.
‘No there isn’t,’ said another.
Posted: Aug 8th, 2013
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UKIP leader Nigel Farage today revealed that he has been instructed by God to build an ark in order to protect sane, anti-European thinkers like himself from the rising flood waters which God has sent to central Europe as a punishment for the incompetence and bureaucracy of the European Union…
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