In a remarkable shift in opinion, Deputy PM Nick Clegg has renounced his stance against the UK leaving Europe, declaring openly that he ‘dislikes all foreigners’, and will happily go for a pint with everyone, ‘providing the ale is British’.
Posted: May 27th, 2014
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Angry Rotherham residents have formed a new political party to free them from the influx of UKIP voters and councillors into their neighbourhood.
Posted: May 26th, 2014
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UKIP voters are going all out to make sure they can draw a cross correctly on their ballot papers on Thursday.
‘I’ve being practising for weeks,’ said Fred Blackstone (67). ‘I don’t want it get it wrong and lose Nigel a vote.’
Posted: May 22nd, 2014
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A Romanian family has turned down the offer of a house in London because they don’t want to live next door to Germans.
The family – who don’t want to be named – said they had nothing against Germans.
‘It’s just that the father of this family – he is English but has a German wife and children- smokes a lot and is forever down the pub.’
Posted: May 19th, 2014
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A baboon has resigned from UKIP following a fierce debate in the party over its future bananas policies.
Nigel – named after UKIP’s charismatic leader – indicated he was leaving the party which, he alleged, ‘has been taken over by a cartload of monkeys’.
The resignation follows revelations that two chimpanzees and an orang-utan had left the party amidst claims they had been fiddling their fyffes expenses and following remarks by a UKIP councillor that orang-utans ‘should go back to Pongo-Pongo land’.
Posted: May 17th, 2014
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