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Posts Tagged ‘Nigel Farage’

Fine weather my doing, say all party leaders

turn out's nice againAs days of unusually warm and sunny weather followed on from the first party leaders’ debate, the leaders themselves have been arguing about who deserves the most credit for it.

‘I arranged for the fair weather to start today,’ said David Cameron. ‘I pledge that the next Conservative government will continue to improve the weather in real terms over the next five years.’ He looked annoyed when George Osborne suggested that he had, in fact, created the ‘right climate’ for the good weather.

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2015
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CERN joins Alton Towers to create ‘Collider’ ride

Up to 500 customers at a time will be contained in special magnetised particle pods, accelerated up to 25,000 miles per hour in a gigantic circular tunnel, then smashed into each other head on to see what happens

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2015
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Second leaders’ debate to include interpretative dance

‘Frankly I don’t think I put my case across as well as I could have,’ said David Cameron, announcing that interpretive dance would be part of the second party leaders’ election date. ‘Samantha suggested this because she thinks I’m a real smooth mover.’

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2015
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TV debates to be settled by ‘head punching contests’ say Broadcasters

all in the name of entertainment for the massesTV broadcasters have decided to ditch the debating format trialed in the 2010 election in which leaders debated policy and outlined pledges and will replace it instead with a series of ‘head punching contests’, confirmed Sue Inglish, Head of Political Programming at the BBC.

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Posted: Mar 27th, 2015
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Cameron promises not to serve a third term. Voters helpfully rule out a second

his goose is cookedIn an attempt to manage public expectation, the Prime Minister has said he will not be swayed into staying in office, regardless of any mass displays of affection.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2015
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