NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Nigel Farage’

UKIP voters determined to overcome X drawing challenge

UKIP voters are going all out to make sure they can draw a cross correctly on their ballot papers on Thursday.
‘I’ve being practising for weeks,’ said Fred Blackstone (67). ‘I don’t want it get it wrong and lose Nigel a vote.’

Read more >

Posted: May 22nd, 2014
More from News In Brief



Romanian family declines house next door to German family

A Romanian family has turned down the offer of a house in London because they don’t want to live next door to Germans.

The family – who don’t want to be named – said they had nothing against Germans.

‘It’s just that the father of this family – he is English but has a German wife and children- smokes a lot and is forever down the pub.’

Read more >

Posted: May 19th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Baboon resigns from UKIP

A baboon has resigned from UKIP following a fierce debate in the party over its future bananas policies.

Nigel – named after UKIP’s charismatic leader – indicated he was leaving the party which, he alleged, ‘has been taken over by a cartload of monkeys’.

The resignation follows revelations that two chimpanzees and an orang-utan had left the party amidst claims they had been fiddling their fyffes expenses and following remarks by a UKIP councillor that orang-utans ‘should go back to Pongo-Pongo land’.

Read more >

Posted: May 17th, 2014
More from Politics



UKIP to outsource policy-making to China

it was always in the manifesto if you'd only bothered to read it‘Keeping policy making in the UK has been verging on impossible for some time now – we had become lazy and simply couldn’t come up with anything new’.

Read more >

Posted: May 11th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Political parties given go ahead for new Subliminal Election Broadcasts

public currently still thinking for themselvesFrom next year, the traditional Party Election Broadcast will be replaced by a blipvert that operates below the threshold of human conscious perception. ‘The old party political broadcasts suffered from a terrible flaw,’ explained Tory party strategist Lynton Crosby. ‘As soon as anyone realised they were watching one, they immediately switched over.’

Read more >

Posted: May 6th, 2014
More from Politics