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Posts Tagged ‘Nigel Farage’

UKIP to throw out all Anglo-Saxon immigrants

After the publication of the most detailed genetic map of the UK, Nigel Farage has reiterated his aim to remove all immigrants from the UK, starting with those French and Germans who have been invading our sacred isles since, at least, before 1066.

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Posted: Mar 22nd, 2015
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Millions watch idiot UKIP candidate totally ‘eclipse’ idiot UKIP leader

Vote UKIPSchool children, wearing protective goggles, were yesterday treated to the rare glimpse of Nigel Farage’s face been obscured in tabloid papers by reports of a fraudulent UKIP colleague, Janice Atkinson.

The expenses scandal of the MEP for England’s South East covered most of The Sun, which would normally be seen across the UK, shining out of Rupert Murdoch’s posterior.

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Posted: Mar 20th, 2015
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UKIP vows to repeal outdated child labour laws

'only way forward is back to the past'In an unexpected and unprecedented announcement, Nigel Farage has let slip UKIP’s plans to repeal what it called restrictive and outdated labour laws relating to the employment of children.

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Posted: Mar 12th, 2015
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Desperate people escaping UKIP campaigners under lorries

‘Our people lived peacefully for many years under our benevolent Lib Dem MP, who showed up on our doorsteps every four years spouting harmless rubbish,’ he explained.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2015
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Petting, bombing and diving to be legalised by UKIP

In an attempt to broaden the appeal of their manifesto, UKIP are set to legalise petting in public swimming baths. Other policy initiatives include an amnesty on library book fines and a very slight reduction in the cost of the TV licence.

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2015
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