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Posts Tagged ‘NIMBY’

Alien megastructure maybe Heathrow’s third runway

In an attempt to increase aviation capacity while avoiding flightpaths near Tory homeowners, the UK Government has constructed an extra runway orbiting the star known as KIC 8462852. So voracious had been Londoner’s objections that they had insisted that noise pollution would only be tolerable at a distance of 454 parsecs from Earth, or ‘somewhere up north where people vote Labour’.

Being 1,480 light years from the main terminus, baggage-handlers have already raised concerns about round trips to the constellation Cygnus.

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Posted: Oct 19th, 2015
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By-passed villagers lament inability to complain about HS2 ruining their homes

residents have never seen a train beforeResidents of the chocolate box village of Aynton in Berkshire have said that they are ‘stunned and shocked’ by the Transport Secretary’s decision not to route the controversial High Speed 2 rail link close to their homes.

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Posted: Feb 5th, 2015
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Tree that looks like a wind turbine set to silence whiny rurally-based types

Forests of Turbinicus Megawattus are set to replace the traditional drab green woodland which critics of the countryside say has been around for centuries and is frankly getting on people’s tits somewhat.

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Posted: Nov 3rd, 2012
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UN to send up helicopter full of NIMBYs to enforce no-fly zone

The entire Neighbourhood Watch Committee of Stockley-under-field, which lies on an accident-prone section of the A5, will be armed with clipboards, pens and placards saying ‘GRRRRRRR!!’ to wave at offenders, whilst also subjecting them to Paddington-esque cold, hard stares out of the choppers’ windows.

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2011
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