The Nobel Committee today warned Donald Trump that starting WW3 would not help his chances of winning the 2018 Nobel Peace Prize. ‘The clue’s in the name,’ said Committee member Brigitte Norsberg. ‘When carefully weighing up who to award the peace prize to, [read...]
Confused by Aung San flitting between winning a Nobel Prize and killing everyone? Torn between admiration for her previous fights against military rule, and condemnation for her current refusal to condemn army attacks? Never fear. [read...]
The British Folk Singer Donovan, widely regarded as ‘The English Elvis Presley’ has volunteered to collect the Nobel Prize for Poetry on Bob Dylan’s behalf and then pretend it’s gone missing when Bob finally gives him a call to talk Parcelforce. [read...]
Crisp salesman Gary Lineker has been awarded the 2016 Nobel Prize in Economics for his divorce equation. ‘The key variables are how long you’ve been married, how many fit birds you meet per week and whether you’re a bit bored. [read...]
A Cheltenham butcher who has never heard of Higgs Boson is getting on with his life just fine say his friends.
‘Gordon has never heard of it,’ said Luke Church, a friend, ‘but he just goes on living all the same.’ [read...]
