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Posts Tagged ‘Noel Edmonds’

Iain Duncan Smith to host primetime TV immigration quiz show

Fair, transparent and completely on scheduleThe contestants face a series of interrogations from both Duncan Smith and ‘The Wanker’, a mystery voice from the DWP who sneers derisively at their pleas on the end of a telephone line.

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Posted: Dec 22nd, 2014
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Cosmic Ordering Service goes into liquidation

No deal.In a shock announcement, the largest wish-list provider in the cosmos has been declared bankrupt, leaving many millions of customers unlikely to ever receive their orders.

‘This is the largest retail collapse in the entire history of the Universe,’ said BBC Business Editor Robert Peston, ‘and nobody saw it coming.’

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Posted: Oct 12th, 2013
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BBC to trial new shouting at the telly service on the red button

Following in the successful footsteps of children’s programmes such as Dora the Explorer and Team Umizoomi in which children are given the belief that by shouting at the television you can alter the outcome of the programme you are watching, the BBC are rolling out the idea in mainstream entertainment.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2013
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Ban on hunting Noel Edmonds ‘will protect leather trouser stocks’

Conservationists are calling for a quota system to be introduced to curb Noel Edmonds hunters after a survey by the World Wildlife Fund revealed that the species is facing extinction.

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Posted: Apr 11th, 2011
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Man appalled to find ‘assisted conception’ involves other men sleeping with wife

procedure to be rigorously followed night after nightHis wife seemed unfazed and, if anything, a little excited.

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Posted: Mar 8th, 2011
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