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Posts Tagged ‘NSA’

Secret Santa ‘defends freedom’

Sir Iain Lobban has responded to criticism that Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) has undermined democracy, freedom and gone over budget with anonymous workplace gifts. The televised Public Hearing was told that a ‘jolly office tradition’ had spiralled out of control to include the exchange of Perfume Flamethrowers, Exploding Alarm Clocks and Portable Gyrocopters.

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Posted: Nov 11th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Brazil to clear browsing history

NSA files reveal that the South American nation has recently been googling ‘Ways to euthanize the England Supporters Band?’, ‘How to grout an Olympic stadium?’ and ‘Pope Porn’.

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Posted: Nov 7th, 2013
More from News In Brief



‘Prism’ becomes sentient, opens cat sanctuary

a warning that you can be exposed to too much of this stuffA spokesperson for America’s National Security Agency (NSA) held a red-faced press conference today, announcing that they no longer had control over Prism, their multi-million dollar, super-snooper software.

“One minute, it was churning through thousands of Facebook photos and the next it stopped and spoke for the first time,” said Burt McKenzie, Prism’s chief programmer and best friend ever.

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Posted: Aug 26th, 2013
More from Isle of Wight News



Guardian journalist held for ‘wearing wrong colour shirt’

journalist 'unaware' his fashion had expiredA journalist been held at Heathrow by the Guardian Style Editor for wearing a shirt ‘in a colour associated with last season’s menswear’. He was questioned for eight hours, the maximum possible under the Guardian’s style guide which governs how staff dress, as well as what they write. The journalist is thought to have dramatic unseen information related to the US National Security Agency and its relations with GCHQ. Delays to its publication could be serious, according to a foreign news correspondent from the paper. The accused shirt may have to be destroyed. It’s understood to be from Next.

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Posted: Aug 21st, 2013
More from UK News



British Intelligence launch subscription surveillance service, GCHQ+

can access your bank account and transfer subscription to save you the bother, if you likeBritain’s biggest spy agency, GCHQ, said it was addressing the commercial concerns of 21st Century espionage with the introduction of a new paywall. ‘The move heralds a brave new world of electronic surveillance,’ claimed Foreign Secretary William Hague. ‘Now, for just £100 million you get complete access to everything we know.’

According to their adverts, the new service offers, ‘the very latest premier league wire taps, clandestine ops and, of course, every text, email and phone call that anyone ever makes. All sent direct to your own phone, tablet or home computer. No need to tell us your details. We already know.’

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2013
More from UK News