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Posts Tagged ‘nuclear weapons’

Jihadists ‘not as focused on the World Cup as they should be’

all to play for in the following roundsSet against the backdrop of Kenyan massacres and Iraqi insurgency, FIFA is concerned that Islamist militants may not be giving Brazil 2014 their full attention. Despite wall-to-wall TV coverage, there is a growing suspicion that some of the world’s population are choosing not to embrace footballing worship and are instead favouring revolution, seventy two virgins and a ‘nice game of croquet’.

Although the World Cup cost well in excess of $14 billion, Sunni militants seem more obsessed with Baghdad than the melodious prose of Phil Neville. New technologies such as vanishing foam, goal-line sensors and improved corruption have failed to distract Jihadists from their ultimate goal of ‘keeping Wayne Rooney off the front page’. Even a prize money totalling $576m and the lure of the percussive caxirola, does not seem to have dented the extremists’ love of all shoot outs, except penalties.

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Posted: Jun 17th, 2014
More from Sport, World News



Diplomatic chaos as Iran attempts to harness power of ‘butterfly effect’

international panic will start on a small scale then escalate exponentiallyUN inspectors have been asked to investigate allegations that Iran has been secretly developing weapons grade butterflies in an attempt to use chaos theory to launch hurricanes around the world.

‘This is the nightmare scenario,’ said physicist Professor Michio Kaku. ‘The butterfly effect suggests that a single butterfly flapping its wings in one country could trigger a hurricane on the other side of the planet. Just imagine the devastation that could be caused by thousands of them all flapping together in the same direction.’

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Posted: Apr 9th, 2014
More from World News



North Korea erects missile defence net

The state-of-the-art defence system is fashioned from baling twine, along with copper strands from the regime’s long-disused power cables.

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Posted: Apr 16th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Iran conducts test of long-range tickling stick

What a wonderful day for flinging a custard pie in the face of the President of Iran and saying Slam-me-dinner-plate-in-that The surface-to-surface weapon has a range of up to 1,200 miles and has caused panic among Israeli and American diplomats who fear that it could be used to cause outbreaks of squirming and hilarity in the already troubled region.

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Posted: Jul 8th, 2012
More from World News



Olympic joy for winning missile sites

the 'B' of the bangThere were scenes of jubilation today as schoolchildren and residents celebrated the news that their boroughs had been successful in their bids to be a host site for an Olympic surface-to-air missile launch-pad.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2012
More from Sport, UK News