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Posts Tagged ‘nursery rhymes’

Jack and Jill sue over inappropriate medical advice

‘We went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,’ Jack explained, ‘when I fell back down, fracturing the crown of my head in the process. When Jill rang NHS 111, they suggested bed rest and patching me up with vinegar and brown paper. The next day I learned from my GP that this would not have helped in the slightest.’

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2014
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Binge-eating pensioner admits it all started when she swallowed a fly

The old lady whose eating spree included several large animals has warned how such binges can start innocuously.

‘When I had my fly snack I thought nothing of it,’ she said, ‘but then, I thought I’d better have a spider for afters, as I hadn’t thought to kill the fly first.’

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Posted: Jun 4th, 2013
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Grand Old Duke of York ‘livid’ at army cuts

The Grand Old Duke of York reacted with fury last night as it was announced that his fighting force of 10,000 men may be drastically cut back. ‘A cut of 25% could destroy morale – 7,500 men marching around just looks silly,’ he said.

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Posted: Oct 20th, 2010
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Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie forced to sign sex offenders register

A Crown Court judge today branded Georgie Porgie ‘a sexual predator who forced himself on women’ after he admitted to kissing several girls and making them cry.

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Posted: Apr 3rd, 2010
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Jack and Jill’s parents taken to court by Health & Safety Executive

The parents of Jack and Jill appeared in court yesterday, accused of gross negligence.

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Posted: Dec 16th, 2009
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