To address a predicted skills gap in the UK labour market, Education Secretary Justine Greening has today announced curriculum reforms to help those bereft of the brains or pushy parents required to get into grammar school. [read...]
Evoking echoes of 1980’s Fame Academy and through the medium of interpretive dance, teachers throughout the land plan to don hot-pants, crop-tops and mortar boards in an act of solidarity and musical ‘pizzazz!’. Cuts to school budgets and a push by the government to improve EBacc results is predicted to squeeze teacher recruitment in the arts and force many actors ‘to grow the f@ck up’. [read...]
In a move expected to be marginally less unpopular and unworkable than most of his other ideas, Michael Gove has announced that from 2014 UK schools will revert to teaching in Roman numerals.
The idea is the brainchild of a conservative think tank charged by the Education Secretary with charting the causes of the drastic decline in school standards in Britain since the withdrawal of the Roman Empire in 410 AD. [read...]
‘If the changes had already been applied this may have saved the poor loves the extra work of having to claim £3,000 expenses for returning to work early to praise Margaret Thatcher.’ [read...]
The single, a re-working of her 1981 classic ‘Nine to Five’, is to be released this week to coincide with the end of the summer term. [read...]