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Posts Tagged ‘Obama’

Cameron urged not to push red button ‘before bake off final’

Presidents Obama and Putin have both phoned David Cameron pleading with him to show restraint during a period of worsening international relations and ‘bugger-all’ to watch on TV. However a spokesman for the Prime Minister was in bullish mood, threatening: ‘To wipe Paul Hollywoods’ smug smile off the face of the planet, with two tonnes of weapon grade plutonium and re-runs of Dad’s Army.’

Not wishing to be seen as a weak with regards threats to national security and BBC programming, Mr. Cameron is fully prepared to use Trident at the merest hint of a Mel & Sue double entendre.

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Posted: Oct 5th, 2015
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Massive hippopotamus and teeny little bird hail ‘essential relationship’

can't live without each otherA massive hippopotamus and a teeny tiny little bird have hailed their ‘unique and essential relationship’, during a three-day visit to the hippopotamus’s backside by the bird this week.

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2015
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UN asked to intervene in Obama-Cameron ‘bromance’

US and UK set to veto any end to 'relations'The UN has been called upon to act ‘swiftly and decisively’ amid worsening affection between Barack Obama and David Cameron at the Whitehouse last week. Public decency is said to be in tatters after lurid scenes of togetherness between the US president and his ‘bro’ were aired on prime-time television with no warning. Rumours that Cameron referred to Obama as his ‘homie’ are mercifully unconfirmed.

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Posted: Jan 18th, 2015
More from Politics

Britain’s last soldier votes not to go to Syria

can't be arsedThe vote in the House of Commons dismissing even the principle of going to war in Syria has been ratified today by Britain’s last remaining soldier, Barry.

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Posted: Sep 5th, 2014
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UK blasts ‘uncaring’ US after Obama hails historic relationship with Poland

Gdansk for the memoriesUK diplomats have asked for urgent reassurances from the US after news reports that President Barack Obama has ‘rekindled’ the special relationship between Poland and the USA.

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Posted: May 23rd, 2014
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