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Posts Tagged ‘obesity’

Greggs to fill out prescriptions for certified obese patients

‘Adapted lifts with snack dispensers, paving that makes a cracking sound as we approach the roadside.’ Spears held up a pie-shaped card as a model for parking badges for the obese, apologising for the bite marks around the edge.

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Posted: Dec 20th, 2014
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McDonalds tells customer: ‘I think you’ve had enough’

Mr Wilks was later seen at KFC‘We saw him waddle up in a right state. He had to turn sideways to get through the front doors.’

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2014
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‘Diet lard’ released to combat obesity epidemic

selling by the tub-load‘When a customer is called ‘lard arse’, they can point to the label and say ‘no, diet lard arse’

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2014
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New ‘Total Paunch’ magazine a huge hit with men

for the man content not to have everything‘The features on ‘low definition abs’ and ’10 steps towards guaranteed sex after 10 pints of lager’ have literally changed my life, and I’ll be even happier after the divorce and the court case are over.’

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Posted: May 16th, 2013
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‘Weird old weight loss tip’ advertised on internet turns out to be heroin addiction

choose lite‘It turns out that ‘Paul from Glasgow’ does exist and really did lose the weight, but when we found him in a bedsit he was sitting in his own filth, injecting heroin between his toes and hadn’t eaten for three days.’

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2013
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