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Posts Tagged ‘Ofsted’

Maverick headteachers kidnap Ofsted

Following complaints from the National Union of Whinging Heads that Ofsted is suppressing ‘maverick’ tendencies, an elite squad of maverick headteachers has taken ‘assertive action’ against the education regulator.

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Posted: May 2nd, 2015
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‘Excesssively moderate’ Islamic State school put into special measures

they're learning tolerance, for God's sakeIslamic State’s education standards watchdog Ofrain (Office for Radical Indoctrination) has downgraded the struggling nation’s one and only school to ‘inadequate’ after their inspectors discovered a worrying lack of extremism and a failure to safeguard pupils from literacy, numeracy, science, history and geography.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2015
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Ofsted criticises ‘simplistic’ Jihadi Janet & John books

nothing like as convincing as an ISIS iPhone appPoor teaching materials are being blamed for falling standards of radicalisation in state schools, according to a recent Ofsted inspection. When Year 8-10 pupils should be reading the Qu’ran and instructions on how to make cluster bombs, all too many are still looking at the simplistic dogma of Jihadi Janet and John.

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Posted: Mar 5th, 2015
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Shock as Ofsted report finds pupil achievement ‘depends on intelligence’

After many years of analysis, research and data collection, Ofsted has finally determined that the overall final achievement level of children in UK schools is entirely dependent on how clever they are.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2014
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‘Messing about still core to curriculum’, says OFSTED report

Messing and mucking about is still the most important part of the school curriculum for most pupils, according to OFSTED. ‘It’s my favourite bit,’ said Brett, a year eight pupil at Scunthorpe Comp, ‘though school dinners when it’s double burger, chips and beans is good.’

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Posted: Jun 29th, 2014
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