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Posts Tagged ‘oil’

Oil worker ‘gobsmacked’ at news he was to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury

Oil industry worker Justin Welby (56) says he was ‘gobsmacked’ when he heard he was to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury.

‘I was having a few morning pints with the lads before being flown back for another six months on the oil rigs,’ he said, ‘when the landlord said he’d heard on the telly that I was to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury. I was bloody gobsmacked.’

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Posted: Nov 9th, 2012
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Mitt Romney surges ahead in polls on back of war and jobs promise

In a speech at the Republican Party national convention, US Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has promised the American people he would invade at least one oil-rich country during his first term in office and would seriously consider taking out a few non-aligned heads of state from other countries for good measure too…

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Posted: Sep 2nd, 2012
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Osborne slashes petrol from 135p to 140p per litre

Flags flew across the nation as grateful motorists celebrated the slashing of petrol prices from 135p a litre to and incredible 139p or even 140p.

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2011
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Calls for Government action as cyclists’ smugness hits two-year high

‘It’s becoming almost unbearable for some motorists to use their vehicles,’ said the Road Users Alliance. ‘These cyclists need to be brought down a peg or two.’

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2011
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Guinea, Equatorial Guinea and Guinea-Bissau no longer sure which is which

Residents and tourists in the three small African states bearing the word ‘Guinea’ in their name report being increasingly confused about whether or not they are in the correct country.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2011
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