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Posts Tagged ‘old people’

Dozens feared inconvenienced as bikers clash outside Isle of Wight cafe

mods and rocking chairsPolice were called to the Blue Rinse Cafe on the seafront at Shanklin, Isle of Wight, yesterday to deal with an outbreak of the type of violence not seen since the mid-1960s. The trouble is understood to have erupted when a gang on mobility scooters aggressively took the last parking spaces. The number of those mildly put out is put at nine, but may rise.

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Posted: May 18th, 2015
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‘I won’t let the bureaucrats make me retire!’ declares blind 93-year-old dentist

‘Extremely shaky hands and total loss of vision are no reason to stop practicing.’

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Posted: Jul 7th, 2014
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Belgium dead; lay undiscovered for two weeks

The discovery was made when Germany called round one afternoon.

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Posted: Jun 9th, 2014
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Gangs of pensioners conspire to bring country to halt with lunchtime queuing

An undercover police operation has revealed that a Mafia-like organisation is behind the huge number of retired people queuing in banks and post offices during lunchtimes.

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2013
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‘I just hate old people’ admits British Gas MD

countering medical advances for the elderly, for the good of societyThe Managing Director of British Gas, Ian Peters, has today confirmed plans to ‘remove’ a record number of adorable grandparents in the lead-up to Christmas. His vision is that the plans will rid his home town and beyond of the aged, which he believes will make roads ‘less hazardous’, ‘shorten the queues’ in his local Post Office, and remove the ‘annoying obligation’ he has to visit his mother on Christmas Day.

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Posted: Oct 17th, 2013
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