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Posts Tagged ‘old people’

Belgium dead; lay undiscovered for two weeks

The discovery was made when Germany called round one afternoon.

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2015
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Dozens feared inconvenienced as bikers clash outside Isle of Wight cafe

mods and rocking chairsPolice were called to the Blue Rinse Cafe on the seafront at Shanklin, Isle of Wight, yesterday to deal with an outbreak of the type of violence not seen since the mid-1960s. The trouble is understood to have erupted when a gang on mobility scooters aggressively took the last parking spaces. The number of those mildly put out is put at nine, but may rise.

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Posted: May 18th, 2015
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Gangs of pensioners conspire to bring country to halt with lunchtime queuing

An undercover police operation has revealed that a Mafia-like organisation is behind the huge number of retired people queuing in banks and post offices during lunchtimes.

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2013
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‘I just hate old people’ admits British Gas MD

countering medical advances for the elderly, for the good of societyThe Managing Director of British Gas, Ian Peters, has today confirmed plans to ‘remove’ a record number of adorable grandparents in the lead-up to Christmas. His vision is that the plans will rid his home town and beyond of the aged, which he believes will make roads ‘less hazardous’, ‘shorten the queues’ in his local Post Office, and remove the ‘annoying obligation’ he has to visit his mother on Christmas Day.

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Posted: Oct 17th, 2013
More from Business



Elderly ‘can’t wait’ to house prisoners under new government scheme

lots of stories to tell over tea and biscuitsConvicted murderers, sex offenders, and terrorists will be used as ‘live in’ companions to help out retirees under a radical new homestay scheme starting next month.

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Posted: May 12th, 2013
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