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Posts Tagged ‘Old Testament’

Gay marriage; Shellfish next abomination to be legalised

After the successful legalisation of gay marriage, which hasn’t resulted in any smiting, earthquakes or unusual cosmological signs, the Government is considering legalising the consumption of shellfish.

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Posted: Apr 10th, 2014
More from News In Brief



God to be awarded Oscar for special effects in Old Testament

In a move described by entertainment insiders as being ‘long overdue’, the Creator of the Universe has been tipped to receive a lifetime achievement award for His magnificently realistic tricks which have been scaring the daylights out of Christians for the last 2000 years.

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Posted: Oct 16th, 2013
More from News In Brief



European flooding latest: God tells Nigel Farage to build ark

2 by 2 policy 'under review'UKIP leader Nigel Farage today revealed that he has been instructed by God to build an ark in order to protect sane, anti-European thinkers like himself from the rising flood waters which God has sent to central Europe as a punishment for the incompetence and bureaucracy of the European Union…

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2013
More from Faith, Politics



God to appear on Mumsnet webchat to defend King Solomon baby-slicing storyline

the almighty proved to be no match for the mumsnet crowdMumsnet has written to God complaining that its members had been ‘outraged and distressed’ by an Old Testament storyline in which a mother accidentally smothers her baby in bed, steals a friend’s baby, and then shouts to King Solomon that ‘It shall be neither mine nor hers — divide it with your sword!’’

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2011
More from Arts/Entertainment



The Bible; Testament 3.0 leaked on the internet

‘Without giving too much away I can confirm rumours that a major character is killed off about half way through the book.’

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2007
More from World News