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Posts Tagged ‘Old Trafford’

Manchester United crowds to be banned from looking at scores

"Moyes, Moyyyyess!"In a move designed to avoid discontent among fans and shareholders, Manchester United officials have taken the unprecedented decision to ban tablets, laptops and anything else that might bring about access to the league table from within the hallowed portals Old Trafford.

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Posted: Aug 15th, 2014
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Next Man United boss decided ‘Apprentice-style’

time's upThe successor to Sralex Ferguson as the manager of Manchester United has been chosen via a series of elimination tests, resulting in many hopeful managers losing any chance of ever enjoying ‘the big time’. Throughout the season, a large number of eager applicants with ridiculously over-inflated opinions of their abilities have been trialled but have failed spectacularly, and been summarily dismissed with the chilling words: ‘You’re fired’.

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Posted: May 9th, 2013
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Manchester United reveal details of monumental Ferguson statue

The 'Beacon of the North' will stare down on players and referees alike.Statue features him in his trademark pose of pointing to his watch.

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Posted: Oct 2nd, 2012
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FA Cup semi-final to be replayed until Manchester United win

Under the new rules introduced by the Football Association, the Manchester United versus Manchester City semi-final is to be replayed until Manchester United win.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2011
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