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Posts Tagged ‘olympic games’

Homegrown terrorists ‘distracted by Team GB success‘

In a video released earlier this week, a spokesman for the UK-based Islamic Jihadi Brotherhood assured the British public that ‘the infidels will burn and the streets will flow with the blood of the non-believers, but for now we’re glued to our TVs watching Team GB’s medal success’.

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2012
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Latest security breach sees theft of entire Olympic Village

only a minor glitch, games will go ahead as plannedPolice are asking anyone who saw “a very large building, or group of buildings” being moved around East London last night to contact them immediately.

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Posted: Jul 18th, 2012
More from Sport, UK News



Six injured in Tottenham’s first Pitbull Run

Locally bred pitbull terriers were released in the early hours of Sunday morning onto a stretch of the Tottenham High Road, where local youths had been gathering for several hours.

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2012
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Royal Jubilee engagements causing backlog of unopened supermarkets

Supermarket giants including Tesco and Sainsbury’s have led angry calls for the Royal Family to ‘stop fannying about for the Jubilee’ after news emerged that forty fully-stocked supermarkets have been left unopened for months.

‘We’ve been continuing to expand our operations across the United Kingdom,’ said Tesco chief executive Philip Clarke. ‘But since this Diamond Jubilee nonsense started, we’ve been left with 17 stores ready to go but unopened because the Royals are all booked up reading the weather or dancing with Usain Bolt in Jamaica or sailing down the bloody Thames.’

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2012
More from UK News



Warning over Olympic travel chaos as thousands book flights out

‘This could cause significant traffic problems around Heathrow and Gatwick airports,’ the report said, ‘as people realise that their favourite programmes won’t be on for a fortnight, and that there is absolutely no escape from the pain of watching British athletes fail spectacularly, and then have to listen to Gary Lineker, who has suddenly become a world authority on everything, try to make the most of Tom Daley falling off the diving board, and Chris Hoy getting a puncture on his bike.’

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Posted: May 3rd, 2011
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