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Posts Tagged ‘Olympics’

Joy as West Coast of Australia wins right to host MH370 search

There were scenes of uncontrolled jubilation yesterday as the West Coast of Australia was awarded the right to host the next phase of the search for missing Malaysian Airways flight MH370. At a glittering ceremony in Kuala Lumpur, the West Coast bid saw off stiff competition from South-East India, Eastern Vietnam and Helsinki.

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2014
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Brazil denies all knowledge of hosting Olympic Games in 2016

IOC Vice-President John Coates has told delegates at an Olympic Forum in Sydney that officials in the 2016 host city Rio de Janeiro have claimed to know nothing about the games being held there in a little over 2 year’s time.

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Posted: May 1st, 2014
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Glasgow to be ‘nuked’ during Commonwealth Closing Ceremony

'That's one in the eye for Cameron!'A global audience, set to be in the millions, will witness a lavish TV spectacle combining mediocre athletics, the smugness of Alex Salmond and a ‘much needed’ nuclear deterrent. Glasgow is already committed to demolishing its iconic Red Road flats for the Opening Ceremony but has now been given the ‘green light’ to unleash atomic devastation on the remains of the city, leaving nothing but a deep-fried mushroom cloud in its place.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2014
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Next country to be invaded by Russia during an Olympics to be named

The result of the bidding to be the next country to be invaded by Russia during an Olympics are set to be announced at a glitzy ceremony in St Tropez later today.

The competition hasn’t been as fierce as expected in the race to follow in the footsteps of Poland in 1920, Hungary in 1956, the 1968 event in Czechoslovakia and the more recent hosts Georgia and Ukraine as had been expected.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2014
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Cockroach tells of ‘terrifying ordeal’ in restaurant shooting

A cockroach took the stand today to give evidence in the trial of South African athlete Oscar Pistorius. The roach told a hushed courtroom how it lay cowering on the floor under a restaurant table while the defendant wielded a loaded gun, before firing a shot that narrowly missed the insect’s body but took off both of its rear legs.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2014
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