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Posts Tagged ‘opening ceremony’

Centrepiece of Sochi Opening Ceremony to be ice dance by Putin in lycra catsuit

The Russian Olympic committee has made a surprise announcement that President Vladimir Putin will take part in the Opening Ceremony of the Sochi Winter Olympics, clad in a puce and aquamarine ice-skating catsuit as ‘The Spirit of Russian Manhood’.

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Posted: Feb 7th, 2014
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‘Olympic style dancing on NHS beds must stop’ insist top doctors

Following the success of the Olympic opening ceremony, top NHS doctors are now asking patients, especially those with multiple fractures, to refrain from energetic dancing on their beds at all hours of the day and night.

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Posted: Aug 30th, 2012
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We want the ‘old you’ back – An open letter to Britain

‘Where’s your sense of self-loathing, Britain? Sure, you have produced great music and great television, but your trains are still late and overpriced, your roads are congested and your public transport is shit.’

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2012
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Olympic opening ceremony shortened to stop it overlapping with closing ceremony

The Olympic opening ceremony, which included 10,000 dancing nurses, mime artists and the performance of every Shakespeare play, has been shortened in length. Lord Coe explained; ‘The problem was that several performers were also required for the closing ceremony and there was no way they could be in both.’

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2012
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Olympic fag lit

The official Olympic cigarette – a Rothmans – was ceremoniously lit in Athens yesterday, and the smoker will run three quarters of a mile with it before the next smoker gets a light off it, takes a drag and runs to the next stage.

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Posted: May 11th, 2012
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