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Posts Tagged ‘Opera’

Opera houses close after inherent crapness of opera strikes home

She sang, and now it's all over.The English National Opera and its counterparts in great cities across the world will all shut their doors for the last time over the course of the next six months. According to industry insiders, this has been caused by the growing consensus that opera is actually unmitigated rubbish that has no chance of ever becoming popular.

‘In retrospect, I’m amazed we got away with it for so long,’ admitted John Berry, artistic director at the ENO.

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2015
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Dismay at opera star’s decision to sing in analogue

‘I, quite literally, have never heard anything like it,’ said opera lover Rupert Fawcett-Jones, ‘because I’ve only heard Placido on CD. When I realised he’d abandoned digital for analogue, I was dismayed because it sounded so yesterday.’

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2011
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Singing insurance salesman found in wardrobe at finishing school

Police in Zurich this evening arrested an Italian opera singer who was found to have concealed himself in a wardrobe in a girls’ finishing school.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2010
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Coughing Season opens with thrilling curtain raiser at Covent Garden

‘Throat clearing challenge has begun in earnest’

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Posted: Oct 14th, 2008
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