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Posts Tagged ‘Osama Bin Laden’

James Bond resigns from MI5 citing ‘too much paperwork’

ready to killExcessive paperwork, political correctness and boring villain’s lairs have made life unbearable.

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Posted: May 21st, 2015
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Derbyshire cider maker arrested on terrorism charges

‘This was an especially monstrous demogration,’ he declared. ‘I was on my way to consult an oculist for my dyxlesia when I saw a huge sign demoting a terrorist group right in the arse of Derbyshire’s beer country. I drove into the terrorist camp, which was hidden in an orchard, and took the Mr Binladen into custody.’

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Posted: Dec 16th, 2014
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Airports to introduce self-scan check-in for terrorists

bombers expected to hand themselves in when machine goes 'beep' Major delays caused by terrorists being stopped by airport security could be a thing of the past following the introduction of self-scan check-in for international terrorist organisations.

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2014
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West Ham supporters to spice up Muslim rioters’ chants

The collaboration has led to new chants for the rioters, including ‘When the Mullahs come marching in’ and ‘I’m forever blowing up infidels’.

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Posted: Sep 17th, 2012
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Bin Laden papers show a man ‘persuaded that America is best’

Health care proposals 'brilliant', says dead terroristNewly released papers from Osama Bin Laden’s hideout reveal a leader living in fear of the ‘mad skillz’ of the US Navy SEALs and struggling to control an unruly network, the US military says.

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Posted: May 10th, 2012
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