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Posts Tagged ‘Outrage’

MPs to wear sackcloth and ashes in penance for pay rise

With outrage over their proposed 10% pay rise growing daily, Britain’s MPs have reached a cross-party consensus to wear coarse, ill-fitting sackcloth tunics and cover their heads with ash, in an effort to show due contrition for their £74,000 annual salary.

‘Considering that members of the public would be lucky if they got even a 1% pay rise, it is important for us to assure our constituents that we are receiving our inflation-busting increase with extreme reluctance’ Parliamentary Standards Commissioner Derek Corbright told a packed House today. ‘Publicly debasing ourselves as we pocket our bulging pay packets will go a long way to assuage the anger of those hard-pressed families as they struggle on the breadline without the benefits of a second home or a seat on the board of a multinational corporation.’

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Posted: Jul 18th, 2015
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Businesses complain that banks are acting like businesses

A shocking report exposing large Banks as centres of sharp business practices has been published. Other not-so-sharp businesses complained ‘We thought they were just there to give us the money. Then they asked for it back. The government should do something.’

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Posted: Nov 28th, 2013
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Debenhams retain police suspect blanket contract

Debenhams bosses were ‘delighted’ after it was announced that their store had won the contract to provide all the UK’s police forces with the blankets used to cover suspects’ heads as they enter and leave court buildings.

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2011
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Shock and outrage as soldier killed in war

There was anger today as it was revealed that a British soldier had been killed whilst fighting in a war. The parents of Private John Smith said, ‘We would never have supported him signing up to the Army if we’d realised it was dangerous.’

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Posted: Jul 9th, 2009
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