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Posts Tagged ‘outsourcing’

Government agrees to ‘gentlemen’s agreement’ with G4S over being ripped off

Whitehall has agreed to allow G4S to bid for lucrative contracts again, on the condition that they ‘don’t make it too obvious’ when they’re defrauding the public purse of hundreds of millions of pounds.

At a press conference earlier today, a Treasury spokesman confirmed that a ‘gentlemen’s bargain’ had been struck, saying that ‘Ultimately, we know the private sector will always provide better value for money than our own bloated and befuddled ways. If we have to turn a blind eye to a few pens missing from the office, or bars of gold from the Bank of England, then that’s just the price we pay for the extraordinary expertise they bring in providing trained security guards for international events and tagging prisoners who are definitely alive and still under surveillance, rather than not really there at all, really.’

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Posted: Apr 13th, 2014
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Man outsources own life

can now afford Sky, with all the extrasIn response to the bleak economic outlook for 2011, 39-year-old Barry Nugent of Canvey Island has taken the radical step of outsourcing much of his everyday existence in a bid to significantly reduce his overheads.

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Posted: Dec 30th, 2010
More from Lifestyle



Government outsources entire benefits system to the Taliban

In a bid to both discourage bogus benefits claimants and increase legitimate employment opportunities for Afghan militants, the government is to outsource jobcentres and the benefits system to the Taliban.

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Posted: Aug 1st, 2010
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