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Posts Tagged ‘Parliament’

Nigel Evans MP: ‘Its been 11 months of hell and now my gay friends know I’m a Tory’

‘I’m a very private person and I’ve always tried to keep that side of my life quiet as I don’t see it as being anyone else’s business what I do for a living’.

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Posted: Apr 11th, 2014
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Criminals to police themselves

The government is to introduce self-policing for UK law breakers. Unveiling the radical new scheme, government spokesman, Maria Miller, explained; ‘The old saying is ‘it takes a thief to catch a thief’ and this measure is simply an extension of how Parliament itself works. That system has met with such universal approval from the British public, that it seemed logical to trust people who continually try and avoid the police to henceforth police themselves.

The scheme, which has been launched to coincide with the beginning of the new avoiding-tax year, will involve muggers, burglars, car thieves and investment bankers being charged with making sure that no laws are breaking in the course of their law-breaking.

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2014
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Scotland’s future uncertain after border with England stolen

'Och no, it was way lower than that'The outcome of the campaign for Scottish independence has been thrown into doubt following reports that the border between Scotland and England has been stolen.

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2013
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Red Face Day to raise funds for Coalition In Need

‘Just imagine the plight of MPs who face the constant stress of job insecurity, with no guarantee of a sinecure when they are finally found out,’ said unfunnyman Lenny Henry, launching this year’s Red Face Day. ‘These people often have to trek through the commuter belt between their first and second homes, running the gauntlet of hostile natives.’

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Posted: Nov 1st, 2013
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Parliamentary debates to get Hawkeye

New technology based on the Hawkeye system is being introduced to the House of Commons which will show instantly whether or not insults thrown during debates have hit the target. Observers believe it could have a significant effect on the outcome of parliamentary votes.

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Posted: Jul 15th, 2013
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