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Posts Tagged ‘Parliament’

MPs’ parents ‘dreading the summer holidays’

October 'can't come too soon'‘It’s absurd that they get so long off,’ said Alan Duncan’s father.

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2015
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Malcolm Rifkind launches ‘MP Relief’

Malcolm Rifkind has launched the first charity appeal designed to raise money for impoverished MPs. ‘I’m passionate about this cause,’ he says, ‘Many MPs are currently sleeping on benches. Green ones, all day.’

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Posted: Feb 25th, 2015
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Nigel Evans MP: ‘Its been 11 months of hell and now my gay friends know I’m a Tory’

‘I’m a very private person and I’ve always tried to keep that side of my life quiet as I don’t see it as being anyone else’s business what I do for a living’.

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Posted: Apr 11th, 2014
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Criminals to police themselves

The government is to introduce self-policing for UK law breakers. Unveiling the radical new scheme, government spokesman, Maria Miller, explained; ‘The old saying is ‘it takes a thief to catch a thief’ and this measure is simply an extension of how Parliament itself works. That system has met with such universal approval from the British public, that it seemed logical to trust people who continually try and avoid the police to henceforth police themselves.

The scheme, which has been launched to coincide with the beginning of the new avoiding-tax year, will involve muggers, burglars, car thieves and investment bankers being charged with making sure that no laws are breaking in the course of their law-breaking.

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2014
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Scotland’s future uncertain after border with England stolen

'Och no, it was way lower than that'The outcome of the campaign for Scottish independence has been thrown into doubt following reports that the border between Scotland and England has been stolen.

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Posted: Dec 9th, 2013
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