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Posts Tagged ‘parody’

Most emails now delivered by van

In a shocking waste of resources, figures released today suggest that £103bn of online shopping has fuelled a boom in transit sales. Rather than use virtual means to buy and sell goods, many entrepreneurs are relying on vans to transport their messages and have even resorted to using carrier pigeons to send invoices.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2015
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Nicola Sturgeon to ride joint-favourite ‘Mister Ed’ at Scottish Grand National

‘I rode Mister Ed on Thursday’ said Sturgeon. ‘He didn’t seem to like me riding him so hard at first. Then I explained to him that if it came down to a photo-finish with the joint-favourite ‘Dangerous Dave’ he would need my help to win and he soon got the bit between his teeth.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2015
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Shit parking ‘OK’ with hazard lights says council

Nantwich fire fighters also took to Twitter to retract their initial frustration about not being able to get through to fight a fire at B&M’s, as they made the same error as the council in missing the lights. ‘We always except shit, life threatening parking, but only if the lights are flashing’.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2015
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ITV sports result spoilers to go 24-7.

TV journalists will be permitted to wander in to make impromptu sporting announcements during any programme on the 24-hour schedule.

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2015
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New Apple phone has revolutionary ‘non-selfie’ camera

One iPhone user was initially sceptical; ‘When I first heard I was like, ‘Why would anyone want to take a picture was wasn’t like of themselves? But then I was shown a mirror and I was like, whoa, I can take a picture of myself with my phone actually like in the picture. That’s like, whoaaa!’

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Posted: Apr 16th, 2015
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