‘If your Dreamcatcher is wired up as shown, you might notice fewer dreams. Dreams that you have always had, will commonly be destroyed in a soul crushing and usually ironic fashion, as if a deity were teaching you a lesson. Please return immediately.’
Posted: Dec 7th, 2013
More from News In Brief
Metaphors, anecdotes and comparisons with occupations from a bygone age are all hopeless when explaining ‘what exactly is it you do’, according to a new report. The verdict will make grim reading for people preparing for Christmas, as they visit friends and relatives to face probing questions about how they spend their days. A staggering 65% of a study group is still totally unable to explain themselves adequately to a range of audiences with different capacities of understanding.
Posted: Dec 5th, 2013
More from Lifestyle
The Nonhuman Rights Project is appealing for ‘Tommy’ the chimp to be granted the ‘fundamental right of bodily liberty’, but having ‘looked at Gitmo’ Tommy would prefer to take a ‘rain check’.
Posted: Dec 5th, 2013
More from News In Brief
‘He didn’t even bat an eyelid when I showed him what would happen to poor little Tiny Clegg,’
Posted: Dec 5th, 2013
More from From The Archives
Schoolchildren up and down Britain are still struggling to come to terms with the acclaim accorded to Malala Yousafzai, a Pakistani school pupil and activist blogger who was shot in the head by the Taliban in 2011 for campaigning for girls’ education rights. They have unanimously agreed that her conduct is ‘well rank’ and that she should have been grateful not to have to sit through double Maths every Tuesday morning.
Malala’s courage and determination has earned her acclaim all over the world. Since her miraculous survival, she has been instrumental in the ratification of Pakistan’s first Right to Education Bill, was named one of Time Magazine’s ’100 Most Influential People in the World’ and was nominated for the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize among many other things. However, British teenagers have dismissed all this as ‘totally gay’.
Posted: Dec 4th, 2013
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