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Posts Tagged ‘parody’

MPs say they should remain anonymous until charged with sex offences

Nothing to see here. Move along.As investigations into establishment child abuse drag on, members of Parliament’s Double Standards Select Committee have decided that Operation Yewtree’s method of allowing the media to name suspected celebrity paedophiles to help encourage other victims to speak up would be ‘inexcusable’ if it were applied to cases involving Right Honourable sex offenders.

Committee chairman Keith Vaz said the proposed reform was ‘long overdue’ now that the voting public’s focus has largely shifted from common celebrities to the Westminster establishment.

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2015
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Man dismisses amazing totally unlimited broadband/TV/phone package

Leading broadband providers have expressed astonishment today over a Dudley man’s outright rejection of an offer of a fantastic money-saving broadband/TV/phone package.

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2015
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Miliband rules out installing third kitchen

Ed Miliband has told the BBC that he will not be installing a third kitchen in his North London home. In an interview with BBC deputy political editor James Landale, Miliband said that he felt that two kitchens was enough for all the cooking he wanted to do.

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2015
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Cameron promises not to serve a third term. Voters helpfully rule out a second

his goose is cookedIn an attempt to manage public expectation, the Prime Minister has said he will not be swayed into staying in office, regardless of any mass displays of affection. Meanwhile, nonplussed voters assured Mr. Cameron that no such displays had been planned; unless he meant the voodoo doll, abusive graffiti or the barrels of gunpowder stored under the House of Commons.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2015
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ISIS health service ‘in crisis’

Leading figures from the feared Islamic State have issued a statement today claiming that their segregated health service is already in ‘crisis’.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2015
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