‘I distinctly heard him not say it, and in fact on the way home I clearly recall saying to my wife, “It’s a good thing Lord Feldman didn’t call our activists ‘swivel-eyed loons’ at today’s event”.’
Posted: May 20th, 2013
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Follow this simple guide to determining whether your household blaze or head-in-railings incident is suitable for a less-than-immediate response.
Posted: May 20th, 2013
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In an attempt to control costs while maintaining a ‘healthy’ ratio of nursery staff to children, the Government has today unveiled its vision for the UK to lead the world in producing battery-raised toddlers.
Posted: May 19th, 2013
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Fire and rescue services would be much better if staffed by ultra-powered giant robots, according to an independent review commissioned by the Government.
Posted: May 18th, 2013
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‘I got sick of looking at handsome young guys with six packs smiling down from the shelves at W H Smith and getting nudged in the side by the missus. So I bought myself a copy of Paunch and I haven’t looked back. The features on ‘low definition abs’ and ’10 steps towards guaranteed sex after ten pints of lager’ have literally changed my life, and I’ll be even happier after the divorce and the court case are over.’
Posted: May 16th, 2013
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