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Posts Tagged ‘parody’

iPhone user has ‘out-of-phone experience’ in-between operating systems

upgrade includes new app which occasionally switches the bloody phone off‘Normally I just stare at a wall from two-inches away with a blank expression in-between operating systems, but this time something different happened’

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Posted: Sep 11th, 2014
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Persistent cold callers and chuggers face new ‘badgerer cull’

Cute, furry creatures 'don't stand a chance'Following last year’s unsuccessful culling campaign, the Government has today announced plans for a second attempt at reducing the ‘badgerer’ population. Up to 70% of badgerers who spend their days harassing the public on the street or on the phone in attempts to extract money from them are to be culled in 2014, in an operation designed to put an end to the unpopular practice.

Last year’s attempt at culling badgerers was considered by critics to be ‘ineffective’. The Government targets for the number of personal injury compensation badgerers to be dealt with in 2013 were not met, leading to the proliferation of a new generation of ‘PPI compensation badgerers’ this year. Environment Minister Liz Truss is keen to set new targets, although she insists the aims of the badgerer cull have not changed, saying: ‘The badgerers have not moved the goalposts.’

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2014
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‘Not Sure’ campaign stages late comeback in lead-up to referendum

After support for the ‘Not Sure’ campaign in the Scottish referendum fell to an all time low of 7%, a recent poll now shows a late surge to 23%.

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2014
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Vengeful kids upload pictures of adults returning to work after holidays ‘looking like sh*t’

Facebook is experiencing a major surge in photo uploads from children this week, appearing to show their tired and weary parents returning to work ‘looking like sh*t’ after their summer holidays.

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2014
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Scotland to be given deciding vote on Strictly and X-Factor

In a review of expanded powers to Scotland, known as ‘Devo Max’, the Better Together campaign have announced a slew of new tax, spending and legislative powers that will now include the deciding vote on all subsequent winners of Strictly Come Dancing and The X-Factor.

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Posted: Sep 9th, 2014
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