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Posts Tagged ‘particle accelerator’

Particle physics ‘all made up’ admit boffins

what scientists know 'just incredible'Scientists everywhere have been left red faced today as it has been revealed that the whole standard model theory of particle physics is entirely fictional.

For years, billions of pounds have been pumped into state of the art labs to fund so called ‘particle accelerators’ in the hope that the secrets of the big bang are revealed. ‘It’s all complete bollocks,’ admitted moptopped lab boy Brian Cox. ‘What a scam! It’s the greatest joke the science community has ever staged and you all fell for it –suckers.’

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2012
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Salesman promises Hadron Collider 2.0 really will be plug and play

Owners of the Large Hadron Collider are being persuaded to purchase the new version, with many of them admitting that the first one never really worked properly. ‘One or two of our customers did have a few little problems with the first version,’ admitted Darren Turnkey, sales manager for Hadron Collider Solutions, ‘but in general the response has been very positive.’

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Posted: Feb 3rd, 2009
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