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Posts Tagged ‘patients’

‘A&E targets could be met if we stopped treating patients,’ doctors say

‘We’ve made fantastic progress,’ said a senior A&E consultant, referring to the news that the NHS was missing fewer targets than in November. ‘First we started locking the doors, then we gave everybody a couple of aspirin and told them to fuck off. Most never returned, so they were clearly putting it on.’

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Posted: Jan 25th, 2015
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BBC reveals ‘some patients visit A&E units only once’

Data obtained under the Freedom of Information Act revealed that thousands of people made just one visit to the same unit in 2012-13. An NHS spokesman said the BBC’s findings on single attendees raised some worrying questions as hospitals struggled to cope.

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Posted: Jan 8th, 2014
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NHS celebrates meeting needless deaths target

The milestone was reached last Tuesday when pensioner Stan Mills died of thirst three days after vigilant carers moved his flower vase just out of reach. Mills had spent nearly a week occupying a bed desperately needed for other patients who were clamouring to die of severe neglect.

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2013
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Man battling cancer took real pounding, agree doctors

‘It was nothing short of embarrassing,’ chuckled trainee doctor Jack Neale. ‘This guy was made to look like a real amateur.’

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2010
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