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Posts Tagged ‘payrise’

MPs to wear sackcloth and ashes in penance for pay rise

With outrage over their proposed 10% pay rise growing daily, Britain’s MPs have reached a cross-party consensus to wear coarse, ill-fitting sackcloth tunics and cover their heads with ash, in an effort to show due contrition for their £74,000 annual salary.

‘Considering that members of the public would be lucky if they got even a 1% pay rise, it is important for us to assure our constituents that we are receiving our inflation-busting increase with extreme reluctance’ Parliamentary Standards Commissioner Derek Corbright told a packed House today. ‘Publicly debasing ourselves as we pocket our bulging pay packets will go a long way to assuage the anger of those hard-pressed families as they struggle on the breadline without the benefits of a second home or a seat on the board of a multinational corporation.’

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Posted: Jul 18th, 2015
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Clowns demand pay rise for appearing in children’s nightmares

‘Few people consider what it’s like to be in our shoes,’ admitted Pepe, 32. ‘Clown wages are beyond a joke.’

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Posted: Jan 26th, 2012
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