The 43-year-old told a local TV station that he had arranged the deal after seeing an online advert offering human kidneys to those willing to have their Apple consumer products removed. He confessed that, as a man with near-total kidney failure, he had an ‘admittedly shallow’ interest in the human renal function, and had long been obsessed with what UrinaryWorld magazine recently voted ‘most essential organ of all time’.

The story only came to light after the man’s mother became suspicious after noticing a ‘gaping hole’ in her son’s iPad docking station where the device would usually be charging in preparation for another day fulfilling essential bodily requirements. Her attention was also drawn to the fact that her son no longer seemed interested in his old dialysis machine, preferring to go out playing squash and enjoying a beer afterwards.

‘When he came home that night,’ explained his mother, ‘he had an unusual spring in his step and no problem excreting waste materials via his urine. I knew at once something was up. I wanted to know how he had got enough money to buy a new kidney and he finally confessed that he had sold one of his iPads. I was shattered.’

‘I can’t believe he did it,’ sobbed his mother. He might feel like he can live without it now, but he doesn’t know what losing an iPad could mean. If his other one ever stops working he’ll have no way of surfing Flash-free websites on the move – that could be the end of him!’

This case highlights China’s shocking black market in iPad trafficking. A scarcity of the desirable devices has led many naive unfortunates vulnerable to selling their cherished devices for large sums of money, even in the knowledge that the grim transaction will leave them dangerously short of Angry Birds capability.

Campaigners say that the worrying trend has led to a big increase in young girls and boys logging on to ‘pro-curvy’ websites where they can swap tips on how to add calories to their meals and cut PE classes at school, as well as buy posters of fat role models which are ruthlessly marketed as ‘an essential addition to any child’s bedroom wall, and a tasty after-dinner snack’.  Doctors have also noted a rise in cases of children with pro-eating disorders, with many youngsters lying to friends and family about how much they’ve eaten to ‘talk up’ their obesity.

Patricia Airey, mother of ten-year-old Rainbow, backs Save the Children’s campaign.  ‘I’m forever telling Rainbow that she’s perfect just as she is, but she’s always looking at herself in the mirror and complaining about being too thin.  She keeps asking when her muffin tops and love handles are going to develop.  It breaks my heart.  Kids grow out so fast these days.’

‘If I’m honest, though,’ she went on, ‘Rainbow may be a bit on the slim side, but she doesn’t listen when I tell her it’s what’s on the inside that counts.  ‘All that’s on the inside is a full English breakfast, two pasties, four packets of crisps and a king-size mars bar,’ she shouts at me, ‘and that’s just not enough these days, mum!’  I wish I had the money to give her the start in life she deserves.’

But Children, Schools and Families Secretary Ed Balls was unapologetic about the Government’s drive to bulk up the younger generation.  ‘The Americans are way out in front, even when we’re stood shoulder-to-shoulder, so we’ve got a lot of ground to make up.  And there’s no point being top of the European league table for teenage pregnancies if the children we’re bringing into the world are only normally proportioned,’ he said today at the launch of a new scheme allowing teenage schoolchildren to exchange contraceptives for cake.