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Posts Tagged ‘pensioner’

Pensioner not badly shaken after being shaken badly

‘When I saw this yob coming at me, I was expecting at least a black eye or a broken nose,’ Brennan said. ‘But all he did was shake me by the shoulders for a bit, before saying he was Kyle Deekins of 51 Spencer Street, Daventry. This was the most pathetic mugging I’ve ever had. I’m devastated.’

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2014
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Gangs of pensioners conspire to bring country to halt with lunchtime queuing

An undercover police operation has revealed that a Mafia-like organisation is behind the huge number of retired people queuing in banks and post offices during lunchtimes.

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2013
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Ice-fall woman, 90, accused of diving by off-duty referee

‘Players these days go down at the slightest contact, so I gave her one of those looks and gestured to her to get up. There was no-one near her at the time. In my view it was a dive, pure and simple.’

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2012
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Northern Lights in night sky ‘actually caused by new ring-road’

Huddersfield pensioner Arthur Davies lost no time in contacting local reporters when a mysterious orange glow appeared in the sky behind his house.

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Posted: Feb 21st, 2011
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