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Posts Tagged ‘pensions’

Osborne offers all pensioners a trip to Vegas

Chancellor George Osborne has agreed to invest the nation’s pension schemes on Nevada’s craps tables. By simply cashing out their savings now, those approaching retirement can boost the economy while experiencing the adrenaline of holding twelve in blackjack.

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2015
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Toddlers demand the choice to take Child Benefit as a lump sum

The pressure group CASHIN, which purports to campaign for the rights of minors, has announced that it will be pressing the government to allow for the payment of Child Benefit as a one-off tax free lump sum payment, reflecting similar concessions now being offered for pensions.

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Posted: Jan 5th, 2015
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Bank of England to open branch on every high street

Mark Carney to personally shake hands with every new customerA budget which promised help for savers, free access to pension funds to lend to the government through new bonds, and tax-free savings up to £15,000 in an ISA failed to explain the whole picture, analysts have revealed.

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Posted: Mar 19th, 2014
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Iain Duncan Smith raises retirement age for Olympic cyclists

plenty of mileage left in those magnificent thighsFollowing an attempt yesterday by six-time Olympic gold medallist Sir Chris Hoy to retire from professional cycling, the Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith has immediately legislated to require all members of team GB to continue professional competition ‘until at least 75 years of age, preferably longer’.

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2013
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Scottish Widows investigation launched

Lothian and Borders Police have launched an investigation into a secretive society known only as ‘Scottish Widows’.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2011
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