The End of Days has been put on hold after the UK Border Agency quarantined the horses used by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse on their arrival in Britain.
Posted: Nov 27th, 2009
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A spritely, slim line Gordon Brown returned to Downing Street today, looking a changed man following his four week holiday. The Prime Minister’s new look caused gasps from some observers as he took his first press conference since July. ‘I hardly recognised him’ said one seasoned journalist, ‘He vaguely reminded me of someone else, but I can’t quite think who.’
Posted: Aug 26th, 2009
More from Politics
The Serious Fraud Office has launched a full-scale investigation into itself after it was discovered that its London headquarters were made from cardboard and all their staff were rubber mannequins. The investigation was announced by Secretary of State for Business, Lord Mandelson who said, ‘This has come as quite a shock but it is imperative that these claims are investigated by the relevant authority. I have therefore referred the Serious Fraud Office to itself.’
Posted: Jul 13th, 2009
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The Government and the male grooming industry have today agreed in principle to take whatever action is necessary to end the dangerous escalation in the razor blades race. Recent years have seen manufacturers of men’s shaving goods increasing the capability of their razors from 2 or 3 blades up to as many as 6 or 7, and there are now real fears that if it doesn’t stop soon, someone is going to get hurt.
‘It’s not right that men are simply allowed to carry these things around,’ said Business Secretary Peter Mandelson, the newly-moustachioed face of the Government’s ‘Stop the Shave Trade’ campaign.
Posted: May 25th, 2009
More from Business
Business Secretary Peter Mandelson today proudly reported that the sector servicing the professional needs of Members of Parliament achieved record growth during the last year.
Posted: Apr 20th, 2009
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