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Posts Tagged ‘pharmaceuticals’

Public to be trained to give drug advice to muggers

not to be taken on an empty stomach, so mug lunch off someone firstMembers of the public are to be trained to give pharmaceutical advice to drug-users before their medicine is stolen from them by junkies, under new proposals from the Department of Health.

‘It’s a thorny issue,’ said Bill Wilkins, one of the government’s top advisors on health-related issues, ‘but the reality is that the amount of prescription drugs being handed over on the street under duress has tripled in a year. Thousands of people being mugged at knifepoint for their painkillers are falling down badly in terms of their duty of care. Some of them are also falling down badly if they get stabbed, but that’s another issue’

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Posted: Sep 22nd, 2014
More from Health



Cure for unpronounceable pharmaceutical company names ‘still distant’

Pharmaceutical companies are likely to continue to have unpronounceable names for the foreseeable future, according to researchers. ‘A cure won’t happen soon,’ said a spokesman for Pfizer which is making a bid for AstraZenec – or whatever they are called. ‘It’s still a distant prospect.’

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Posted: May 6th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Pharmaceutical companies to promote drugs through interpretative dance

Following a new swathe of bribery and corruption allegations being levelled at Glaxo Smithkline, the pharmaceutical industry has announced that henceforth it plans to promote its products through the power of ‘ribbons’, ‘spandex body suits’ and a judicious sprinkling of ‘jazz hands’.

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Posted: Apr 26th, 2014
More from Business



Revolutionary new placebo drug aimed at hypochondriac market

The composition of the latest wonder drug Amalingera is a tightly kept secret, but industry insiders say it’s a carefully-proportioned combination of sugar and food colouring, marketed in a packet covered in impressive-looking medical jargon.

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2013
More from News In Brief