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Posts Tagged ‘Philip Hammond’

Government to relaunch Dad’s Army to repel asylum seekers

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has today revealed plans to reform the Home Guard, originally set up during the Second World War as a last line of defence against a Nazi invasion, to prevent swarms of asylum seekers from invading the home counties.

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Posted: Aug 13th, 2015
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Drone strike hits Cameron as he claims to be a ‘friend’ of Afghanistan

The UK Prime Minister was forced to dig himself and the new Afghan President, Ashraf Ghani, out from under a pile rubble – left by the impact of a surgical drone strike.

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Posted: Oct 4th, 2014
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Welfare Budget could be reduced with Biblical Floods

Conservative think tanks have reached the conclusion that Britain could be purged of an unwanted 95% of the population, if we only we embraced the ‘golden opportunity’ offered by recent extreme weather conditions.

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Posted: Jan 9th, 2014
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UK poor people must do more to help kill foreign poor people, says Defence Secretary

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond says that poor people in Britain should do more to help to kill poor people in other countries by taking a cut in their welfare benefits to allow much-needed funds for the armed forces.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2013
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British Army to disband Royal Milk Tray Regiment

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has today announced that the Royal Milk Tray Regiment is to be disbanded with immediate effect. The regiment, famed for their daring heroics in delivering boxes of chocolates to ladies who loved Milk Tray, had fallen out of favour with the public and the MoD, and had seen little active service of late.

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Posted: Aug 29th, 2012
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