NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Philip Hammond’

Welfare Budget could be reduced with Biblical Floods

Conservative think tanks have reached the conclusion that Britain could be purged of an unwanted 95% of the population, if we only we embraced the ‘golden opportunity’ offered by recent extreme weather conditions.

Read more >

Posted: Jan 9th, 2014
More from News In Brief



UK poor people must do more to help kill foreign poor people, says Defence Secretary

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond says that poor people in Britain should do more to help to kill poor people in other countries by taking a cut in their welfare benefits to allow much-needed funds for the armed forces.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 4th, 2013
More from News In Brief



British Army to disband Royal Milk Tray Regiment

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has today announced that the Royal Milk Tray Regiment is to be disbanded with immediate effect. The regiment, famed for their daring heroics in delivering boxes of chocolates to ladies who loved Milk Tray, had fallen out of favour with the public and the MoD, and had seen little active service of late.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 29th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Robert Peston deployed to Afghanistan as a manned drone

He's NEV-er seen ANythinggg! LIKE it‘Peston’s role will be to reconnoitre enemy terrain, identify Taliban insurgents and then subdue them by talking for hours in his excruciatingly slow, dull monotone,’ explained the Defence Secretary.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 12th, 2012
More from UK News



Troops withdrawn from Afghanistan after failing health and safety workplace assessment

‘If we’d known that soldiers weren’t being provided with the correct style of ergonomic chair or that the temperature in the workplace was so high, we’d have shut the place down in a jiffy.’

Read more >

Posted: Dec 10th, 2011
More from UK News