In order to protect the UK’s fisheries post-Brexit, the Environment Secretary has issued Letters of Marque to any Salty Jack or Rancid Boris. On board the HMS Strong & Stable, Gove explained that he would be guarding Britain’s sovereign waters with a cutlass in one hand and an inflatable palm tree in the other. [read...]
While experts acknowledge that the UK has the emotional resilience of blancmange, many now agree that mindfulness is just a scam to sell books and joss sticks and to fill up Spa resorts. Some suggest that there is a direct correlation between whining and the amount of free time on our hands, [read...]
A change in direction in UK industrial strategy was announced today, after the chancellor Phillip Hammond caught up on Series 12 of the Apprentice on BBC IPlayer. Resources and investment will now be directed toward those sectors covered in the tasks in each episode of the TV series. [read...]
The Devil (commonly known as Old Nick) and Father Christmas (AKA Saint Nick) have written a joint letter to the Times stating ‘Neither of us is the other’.
‘This has been an embarrassment for years,’ grumbled the usually genial philanthropist. [read...]
The Chancellor is on course to win the nation’s top literary prize for a ‘completely fabricated’ depiction of the British economy. With his mythical world of unicorns and balanced budgets, Mr. Hammond’s accounting has all the hallmarks of a contemporary fairy story, [read...]