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Posts Tagged ‘phone hacking’

Cameron to give Satan ‘second chance’ as No.10 press secretary

important to have connectionsPrime Minister David Cameron has today denied accusations of poor judgement after confirming that he has appointed Satan, former overseer of hell, as his new director of communications in Downing Street.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2014
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Brooks cleared of ‘ever having been married to Ross Kemp’

In what is being seen as a complete character vindication, Rebekah Brooks was today cleared by the High Court of all allegations of marriage to a ‘soft-shite mockney’.

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2014
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Clark Kent accused of hacking Superman’s voicemail

Daily Planet journalist Clark Kent was taken into custody today by Metropolis police officers after allegations surfaced that he’d hacked into the man of steel’s mobile phone voice mail in order to get exclusive scoops on his heroic escapades.

‘Phone records indicate he accessed messages hundreds of times in the last year alone’ said a spokesman for the city prosecutors office. ‘We’re confident we’ve got a strong case against him.’

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2014
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Rebekah Brooks to get off after ‘promise from government’

Rebekah Brooks case is tipped to collapse after revelations that the British Government had promised her in writing that she would not be prosecuted. Ms Brooks barrister, Jonathan Laidlaw claimed today that she had received an email from a member of the government of the day whose identity is being protected, but who is being described as ‘very orange and holding the highest office’.

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Posted: Feb 27th, 2014
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Rebekah Brooks : ‘I Didn’t Know Genocide Was Illegal’

Rebecca Brooks has explained that she didn’t know that murder, arson, genocide, phone hacking, extortion, terrorism or poisoning were illegal until advised by her lawyers recently.

‘I thought they were just jolly japes’, she told a stunned courtroom.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2014
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